


How Soft the Breeze through the Island Trees

by ThatWouldBee_Enough



Series: When the Wind Blows We're Together [5]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Porn, BDSM, Barebacking, Begging, Blood and Violence, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Bonding, Bottoming, Consensual Kink, Cuddling & Snuggling, Daddy Issues, Deviates From Canon, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Family Drama, Family Issues, Feelings, Feels, Fingerfucking, Fluff, Gags, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Humiliation, Intoxication, Kinks, Kissing, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Minor Violence, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Overstimulation, Painplay, Pirates, Plot, Polyamory, Porn, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Riding, Rope Bondage, Roughness, Sexual Content, Shameless Smut, Sharing, Sharing a Bed, Smut, Teasing, Threats of Violence, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, Topping, Verbal Humiliation, Violence, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:15:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 39,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24118606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWouldBee_Enough/pseuds/ThatWouldBee_Enough
Summary: “It’s a bad idea.”“It is our only idea.”John watched as they went back and forth, like opponents in a tennis match. Unsure who and what exactly they were talking about.“Alexander, you have already provided counterpoints to your previous ideas. This is the only plan that makes sense.”“Oh, I could provide counterpoints to this plan as well, if that’s what you require to realize how bad of an idea it is.”Lafayette brought his hands to his head, rubbing small circles into his temples.“First counterpoint: He has no money. Second: He’s never cared what happened to me. Third: He’s more concerned with his own debts than our situation. Fourth: Fuck your plan. It’s not going to do any good.”---------------------------Part three is here! The boys are stuck in the West Indies, and Alex is convinced by the other two that asking his long-absent father for help is a good idea.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette
Series: When the Wind Blows We're Together [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/910533
Comments: 99
Kudos: 92





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Annnnnnnd I'm back with part three! Quarantine writing has been a huge distraction for me lately, and I'm honestly impressed with the fact that I finished this giant of a fic in three weeks. Hope you enjoy! I'll be updating every other day!

The disaster that was their recent excursion to Charleston was still fresh in John’s mind as they made their way south to the West Indies. Because of his mistakes, they were low on supplies and food they desperately needed. They had been subsisting on beans and dried meats for far too long now, the lack of nutrition starting to affect the overall energy level and morale of the crew. In addition to the food they hadn’t been able to replace, they had lost some of their goods for trading when things unraveled in South Carolina. Not everything could be salvaged in such a rush with everyone dropping their own tasks to help rescue John, so they ended up with a net loss from the trip. Fortunately, they would soon be back on land. Back at a port with plenty of opportunities to steal and barter and restock their supplies to an appropriate level before departing once again. One more day, and they’d finally have some relief from their struggles. 

He sighed, pushing his chair back and laying the book he had been reading on the desk as he stood. Couldn’t focus on the words with so many thoughts swirling around in his mind. As he walked towards the door of the small office, he brought both of his arms up above his head, stretching his whole body and feeling a bit of relief when his back popped. He glanced at the closed door to the captain’s quarters as he passed by, aware of the actions taking place on the other side of the wall, the faint noises only slightly giving them away. Wanting to give Lafayette and Alex their space, he went up to the deck to try and clear his head.

As he stared up at the sky, he couldn’t help but think about the utter absurdity of his life. Here he was, living as a pirate, recently almost killed by a bullet, and then almost captured in enemy territory. The very existence of his relationship with Lafayette and Alex was illegal. Racking up criminal activities quicker than he could count. He had gone from a well-respected, proper citizen in colonial society, a soldier, to an outlaw. A sodomite. A thief. And yet, in spite of everything, he had never been happier. No matter what obstacles fate forced upon him, one hundred bad days in this new life he had built for himself were preferable to one good day in his old life. He could tolerate these struggles easily with the love and support given by Lafayette and Alex, a balm against any misfortunes. The hardships didn’t sting the same way anymore. 

While he was engrossed in his own thoughts, Walker approached him. Took John by surprise when he uttered a greeting from directly behind him. 

“You startled me,” he said, jumping a bit, turning on his heel to face him. 

“Not sure why. I wasn’t sneaking around. What are you doing up here anyway? We’re going into port tomorrow, and there are still things to be done. Meanwhile you’re standing up here staring at the sky as if you haven’t a care in the world. It hasn’t changed since the last time you looked at it, Laurens.” 

“Sorry,” he said, throwing his hands up in surrender. “Just tell me what needs to be done, and I’m on it. I’m not trying to get out of work by any means.” He was honestly used to tagging along with whatever Alex of Lafayette were doing while preparing to dock somewhere. With the two of them otherwise occupied, it didn’t occur to him to go out in search of something to do. The fact struck him that they couldn’t be terribly behind on preparations if Alex of all people had found it to be an alright time to take a break. 

He let Walker lead him down to the hold, darker and cooler than the higher levels of the ship, where a handful of the crew members were sorting the goods. Determining what would need to be traded and what would be kept by carefully arranging things into different piles. “Anything that we can spare, we need to sell or trade when we get there. Only keep the necessities down here.” He glanced around at the mountains of goods around them. “Do you know where the captain is by any chance, Laurens? I actually had some questions about certain items. Things we weren’t entirely sure about.” 

“Um,” he glanced down at his feet, willing himself not to blush. It wasn’t like he was the one off fucking after all. “He’s busy at the moment. Had some private matters to take care of, I believe.” 

“Sure,” Walker said, sounding entirely unconvinced. “Something very important, obviously.” 

John snorted a quiet laugh, knowing it wasn’t hard to draw the correct conclusion. “He’ll be out and about later I think. Can your questions wait an hour or so?” He honestly had no idea how long they’d be. They weren’t exactly consistent. 

“I s’pose.” The ship hit a wave the wrong way and lurched to the side. There were curses all around as men dropped what they were holding or lost their footing, falling gracelessly to the floor. “The water’s rough today,” Walker remarked, straightening himself back up. 

John wasn’t aware of any bad weather on the way, but when he thought back to the moments he had above deck just before this, he had noticed a lot of clouds in the sky. ”You think it’s just wind?”

“Not sure. Nothing was pointing to a storm up until recently, but the water definitely feels choppier now. Could mean trouble for us getting to land tomorrow morning.”

“What’s our best option?” John pulled some clay pots and some vases from a shelf, carefully placing them in the middle of a pile where they’d be less likely to fall over. 

“If a storm’s coming, and I’m not saying it is mind you, hopefully we’ll be on shore before it breaks. If not, we’ll just have to wait it out. It’ll pass eventually. They always do.”

By the time Alex and Lafayette had joined them in the hold, the rain had already started to fall. It was the type of rain that started hard and fast. Quiet, perfect silence one minute, and the next there was only the relentless pounding of water droplets on the hard wood of the deck, droplets on the surrounding ocean, beating out a staccato percussion for an endless stretch all around them. When the rain first began, McHenry ran up on the deck to gather the few things they had out and returned absolutely drenched, his clothes and hair heavy with the weight of it. This storm wouldn’t be forgiving if its opening number was any indication. 

Alex joined John and Walker and immediately started reorganizing the piles they had already formed. 

“Been busy today, Hamilton?”

Alex glanced up briefly, looking distracted as he shrugged. “A bit.”

“Not like you to be so absent around the ship the day before we dock somewhere.”

The wind whistled past, high notes reaching their ears as the air slipped through the cracks in the structure of the ship. 

“You managed without me hounding everyone, I’m sure.” Alex turned back to the work in front of him, separating the items out further into more piles. John couldn’t even keep track of how he was categorizing them at this point. He lost his balance as they hit another wave and dropped the silk material he was holding, the fabric flowing to the ground and pooling at his feet as he cursed, snatching the silk back up, irritation seeping into the way he placed it in the correct pile, attempting to fold it nicely once more.

John took a moment to watch him work. Could feel something off in the way his movements were shorter, choppier than normal. Almost like his body was mimicking the violent waves outside. He moved closer, lowered his voice a bit. “Alex? You okay?” He reached out to put a hand on his arm, but Alex moved too quickly, dodging the gesture.

“I’m fine.” Brushed it off. Didn’t even look up at John as he continued with the task in front of him. Hyper focusing on his own actions as if they were the only thing keeping him together. 

John stepped back a bit, giving him space. Glanced at Walker impulsively, almost an accident as he looked for someone to fill him in on what the hell was going on. He only shrugged in return, but John thought he sensed a little more in his expression than naive confusion. Pulled him aside the next chance he could get with some excuse to take stock of the leather goods they had acquired. 

“Do you know something about that? Why he’s acting weird?” he asked, tilting his head towards Alex. 

“Not really.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? ‘Not really’? You know something or you don’t.” He tried to keep his voice calm, but he could hear the frustration as he spoke. Not frustration towards Walker, but rather with his own lack of understanding. He shouldn’t have to ask someone else what was wrong. 

Walker sighed, glancing back over at Alex. “Look, it doesn’t happen often, but when a really bad storm comes along I think it puts him on edge? I don’t know why. We obviously haven’t talked about it or anything.” He stared at his hands, studying his own fingertips instead of looking him in the eyes. “I don’t know, Laurens. Not many people like storms, especially out at sea, but he’s always seemed to really struggle with them more than most. Like he has a hard time keeping it together.”

“Well, at least I know I didn’t do something to make him act like that,” John sighed, chewing on his lower lip, feeling almost guilty at his own relief. “You really think it’s going to get bad tonight?”

“Hard to say.”

They all went to bed earlier than usual, anticipating the incredibly early start the next morning. Everything was prepped as much as it could be, and there was truly no more that could be done. So, John had fallen asleep easily enough, his mind at ease for the moment, the sound of the rain lulling him, blocking out the noises from the rest of the ship. He didn’t stir until a particularly loud crack of thunder broke through the night, snapping him out of some dream. It took him a few moments to realize what had happened. He blinked his eyes open to see the wooden boards of the ceiling staring back at him. While reorienting himself, he realized there was an empty space on the bed to one side. Alex’s side. He sat up slowly, making sure not to wake Lafayette, his eyes still adjusting to the darkness of the room. 

He silently swept his gaze across the small space and felt an irrational panic rise in his throat. Alex was probably in the next room. Or had gotten up to get something. Or do some last minute task he had forgotten about. There was no reason at all to think it was anything more than that. 

He slowly scooched to the edge of the bed, doing his best to make as little noise as possible. For all of his effort, he was being overly cautious. Lafayette slept like a rock. Didn’t even shift in his sleep as John crept out of the room, the floorboards and door both creaking. As he stepped out into the hall, he glanced up and down, making sure no one was there, and then took his search into the small office-like room. When he opened the door, Alex didn’t even look up, crouched over some paper on his desk, quill scratching across the page. John couldn’t even tell if he had heard him. Another wave hit the ship, and as it rocked to the side he watched Alex tense, his movements paused while he waited for everything to stabilize. He was repeating something very quietly to himself, whatever it was sounding almost like a song. Or a prayer. John couldn’t make out the words. 

“Alex?” No response. No sign he heard him. John moved closer, slowly, as if trying not to spook him. Even standing right next to him, Alex made no gesture that he recognized his presence. Said nothing to him. Just continued to stare down at his paper, quiet words falling from his lips. “Alex.” He finally jumped when John put a hand on his shoulder. Turned and stared up at him, eyes large and his face layered with anxiety. Now that he had his attention, John couldn’t come up with anything to say. Wasn’t sure how to deal with this. Didn’t even know what this was. Alex, normally so sure of himself, confident and bold to a fault, was sitting there like a caged animal. Trapped. It was unsettling to watch. Even if he knew what was wrong, who was he to help with any of this? He had no clue what to say or do to fix it. He felt horribly inadequate. Helpless to do anything more than stand there, useless. So he just slumped back, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes for a moment. Willing any good idea, any thought at all, to cross his mind. 

As the silence stretched on he grew more and more frustrated with himself. Alex had done so much for him. Changed his whole world. Made the sun shine brighter. Brought him from mere existence to a whole, beautiful life filled with love and happiness and everything he would ever need. So why couldn’t he just say something to help? Why couldn’t he do this one thing? 

He was so wrapped up in his self-pity that he barely noticed when Alex did finally speak up. “John?” His voice sounded so small. Scared. It broke his heart.

John looked towards him, waiting, unable to move for fear of doing something wrong.

“Fuck. Sorry if I woke you. I came in here so I wouldn’t bother anyone.” He glanced back down at the desk, his eyes turned towards the page but not focused on anything. 

“You didn’t.” He swallowed, finding his throat dry as he tried to speak. “The thunder woke me. I couldn’t get back to sleep.” The last part was a half lie. He only couldn’t get back to sleep because he had to know where Alex went. Figured it was best not to let him know that though. 

“Yeah. I couldn’t sleep either.”

John took in his state. His hair still tied back, day clothes pulled back on, restless, nervous energy prickling under his skin. “Did you get any sleep?”

He shook his head, a short, broken movement. 

“You’ve got to get some rest before the morning,” he said, tone soft as he watched Alex bite at his lip. “We’ve got a long day ahead.”

“Can’t,” he whispered, almost ashamed. “I just… I can’t.” He swallowed hard, eyes still downcast. 

His voice, laced with defeat and hopelessness was enough to finally will John to move. He bridged the gap between them, kneeling down next to Alex. He put a hand on his thigh, brought his forehead down so he was speaking to the floor, only hoping Alex could still hear him. “What’s wrong?” Once he said those words, finally more came to him, a damn breaking. “I’ve never seen you like this, and I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m fucking up here. Tell me what to do to make this better, and I’ll do it. Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m a mess. I hate seeing you in pain, Alex. I hate realizing how useless I am when you’re hurt. I wish I could be more for you.”

The silence stretched, John too nervous and unsure to lift his gaze. All he could do was focus on his senses. Feel of Alex’s leg vibrating ever so slightly beneath him. His own body, too warm. The rain still beating relentlessly on the surface of the ocean. Never ceasing. 

Then, finally, “No offense, John.” His voice was still weaker than normal, shaky, but had a little bit of his signature bite back in it. “But not everything is about you.” He breathed the ghost of a laugh, and it brought some life flowing back into the room. 

John looked up, embarrassed, but glad to have him say something. To have him speaking more normally. To know that whatever this was hadn’t completely stolen away his soul. He was still in there. “Sorry.” He grinned just a little bit as he caught Alex’s expression, the faintest smile on his face. 

“Not your fault.” Their momentary eye contact broke as he could feel Alex’s self consciousness taking over. He turned his face to the side, staring at a point on the wall instead. “Just, yeah. This isn’t about you. You don’t need to act like you did some irredeemably horrible thing. You’re so dramatic sometimes, and you don’t even realize it.”

“What is it about then?” John held his breath waiting for the answer, worrying the weight of the tension would crush them both. 

Alex waited a long moment, staring off, his body completely still. John almost thought he had forgotten the question when he finally spoke again. “Have you ever seen an entire island flattened to the ground?” His voice was just above a whisper, and John leaned closer to listen, his eyes glued to Alex’s face as he spoke. He seemed to be staring into another world, their current reality no more real than the memory he was reliving. “Heard the screams of people dying all around you and realized there was not a single thing you could do to help them?” His jaw clenched, and he swallowed before continuing. “Lived through an entire night of chaos, utter destruction, survived all of that, only to find even more people dying in the aftermath? Against nature, humans are helpless. Any one who has lived through what I lived through and thinks otherwise is a fool. There was so much terror, noise, death. I thought humanity was finished. That God was finally putting an end to all the atrocities we’ve committed. I mean, how could that be anything but the end of the world?” He gave a short, humorless laugh. “You want to feel lucky you lived through it. You survived. But how can you be happy? How can you find joy when there’s so much destruction? It’s cruel to be grateful when others are still slowly making their way towards a painful death.” He stopped, seeming to just realize exactly what he had said. As if coming out of a trance, he blinked a few times, turned back towards John, not making eye contact but coming closer to it at least. “I’ve already escaped death. It would be foolish not to worry that this time the waves will take me for good.”

John tried to process everything he had said. His chest bursting with sympathy and a twisted sort of awe for everything he had lived through. Everything he had seen. He tried to wrap his head around even being able to properly imagine that experience. The exact details of it danced around his thoughts, unable to fully form a true picture. “Alex,” he soothed, looking up at him through his lashes. “This won’t come anything close to that.”

“No one ever thinks they’re about to die from something like that. A force of nature, an act of God. No one plans it. When you go into battle you do so with the choice of sacrificing your life. When the heavens up and suffocate entire communities, there’s no choice in that death. No glory. Only indiscriminate destruction.”

John didn’t know how to respond to that, so he remained silent. Nodded his head the tiniest bit and let his body weight press him further into the floorboards under his knees. Tried harder to imagine the things Alex had seen. To have even the simplest understanding. 

After a long while of just sitting there, existing in silent companionship, John sighed and pushed himself to his feet, realizing for the first time how uncomfortable his position had been. “Well, whatever happens, I’m here with you. And I’m not going anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Please please please leave some kudos and some comments letting me know your thoughts <3 They brighten my day so much.
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr at @ilovefoodandgirls for updates, to ask more questions, and just for a general all around good time


	2. Chapter 2

When John finally awoke, the winds hadn’t died down as he’d hoped. If anything, they had grown more violent, hurtling the waves first one way and then the other, the ship destined to rock with them. John couldn’t help staring at Alex as they dressed for the day, unconvinced he had truly ever gone to sleep. He had at least laid down beside him though, giving the appearance of trying to sleep, and that was better than nothing. He sighed quietly to himself, pulling his shirt over his head and adjusting it so it fell properly. Lafayette, for once, was the first one up, already pacing below deck, checking in on everything and everyone. It helped that he had slept through the night, unlike the other two. John couldn’t help but be envious of how well-rested he seemed. 

As Alex tucked his sleeping clothes away, John spoke, breaking up their unusually quiet morning. “Are you okay?”

Alex rolled his eyes, his normal persona seemingly back. It was convincing enough to make John wonder if last night had been nothing more than a strange dream. “Yes, I’m fine, John. Don’t fuss, there’s too much to do.” He glanced out the window, trying to judge the hour by the color of the sky and positioning of the sun, but having a hard time. Everything was dark gray. “We slept in far too long.”

John heaved a sigh, half relieved, half concerned at his nonchalant attitude. Followed Alex out of the room and down to the hold. They found everything more or less ready to go, neat piles of goods packaged for easy transport. The crew scattered about, enjoying a quick meal before the day started. McHenry spotted the two of them first, waved them over. “Boucan?” he offered as they approached, gesturing to the platter of smoked pork on the small table next to him. “Sorry, we didn’t have much left for food.”

John felt a pang of guilt, aware they would have had more variety in their food supply if he hadn’t complicated the plans in Charleston. “It’s fine, McHenry,” Alex said, picking up a piece for himself. “Won’t be a problem after today, anyway.” He took a bite, tearing off a chunk with his teeth. “Do you know about when we should be docking?” he asked through a mouthful of food. 

He shrugged in response, glancing up towards the ceiling. “I think Morris and Grayson are above deck at the moment, if you want to ask them.”

Alex glanced towards the stairs, hesitating, a flicker of the haunted expression from the night before passing across his face before he tamped it down. “John? Would you go check on that? I have something else I need to take care of before we land. Just see if they have a general time frame yet.”

John raised his eyebrows in surprise, but nodded. “Sure, Alex. Not a problem. Will you be down here when I get back?”

“Yeah, I should be.”

“Okay. I’ll be back in a moment then.” He had been about to take some of the meat for himself, but decided it’d be best to leave it until he got back down, knowing it would only get wet from the rain. As soon as he stepped onto the deck, the force of the downpour nearly knocked him over. His clothing was drenched through in a matter of seconds. He held a hand up to shield his eyes, helping him see through the sheets of rain a little better. Spotted someone on the other end of the ship and made his way over, every step twice the effort it would have been under normal conditions. The wind whipped water up into his face, making him squint and turn his head to the side as he walked so it didn’t get into his nose, eyes, mouth. “Hello?” he called as he got closer, his voice nearly swallowed by the tempest around them. Saw the other man turn and meet him halfway. Finally able to get a better glance, he could see it was Morris. Wet hair plastered to his face. He shivered as he approached. It was nearly summer, but the morning carried no warmth to it. 

“Laurens?” He was squinting as well, trying to see through the wall of rain between them. 

“Yeah, it’s me,” he said, nearly shouting to be heard. “It’s, uh, not good out here.” 

Morris laughed at the obvious understatement. “No, it’s certainly not. We keep hoping the skies will start to clear, but the storm’s been persistent.”

John had to nearly close his eyes to keep the water out of them as he tilted his head upwards, taking in the angry, gray clouds above him, rain slicing through the sky, wind shifting the ocean and rainfall at the will of the storm. “Are we able to get to land this morning?” He cleared his throat, the effort of straining to be heard starting to take its toll. 

“It doesn’t look good,” he admitted, turning his head to stare out at the sea again. “It’s been a hard one to predict though. I don’t want to rule it out yet. Just not sure.”

John grimaced, knowing that news would not go over well with the rest of the crew. What could they do though? “Alright, well I’ll-” He was cut off as an especially violent wave broke against the side of the ship, the surface beneath their feet suddenly tilting, then rocking violently back and forth. Both of them lost their footing, falling inelegantly to the ground, sliding across the deck a short ways before friction forced them to a stop. “Shit!” 

Morris was trying to get to his feet, the movement of the ship still nowhere close to stable. John pushed himself up as well, and as he did so, he saw McHenry come up the stairs, yelling out to them. The words indistinguishable above the roar of the wind and waves. His body language was understandable enough though, all frantic arm movements as he called out. 

“That can’t be good.” Morris looked at him, a frown on his face. “I need to stay up here and find Grayson. Give us an update when you know more.”

“I will,” John called, already hurrying as best he could to the other side of the ship, his knee throbbing where it had made contact with the floorboards. He cursed to himself at the pain, but kept on at the same pace. When he could finally make out a few of McHenry’s words, they didn’t reassure him. “She’s hurt! A crack in the wood down in the hold. Water’s leaking in!”

Shit. John followed him back below deck, moving more quickly now that he was shielded from the rain and the wind, all the way down to the hold. As his eyes swept the room he caught Walker directing the crewmen, Lafayette with a couple of others heading towards the bilge pump to try to get water out of the ship. Alex conspicuously absent. No time to think about that now. He shoved the thought to the back of his brain, determined to focus on the problem at hand. He followed McHenry over to Walker, listened to quick, rapidfire instructions and followed the pull of the group, doing what they could to plug the leak. A crack of thunder outside, the force of it seeming to echo inside his very mind. Water was pooling by their feet as they worked. Another wave crashed against the side of the ship, sending a stronger stream of water inside. There were a lot of voices shouting all around him, but none of them mattered. Mostly expletives. Frustrated yells. General chaos. John kept moving, wishing he could do more, but determined to at least do something. Thought about Alex against his better judgement. Wondered where he was amidst all of this. Wondered if he was okay. His focus elsewhere, he slipped in the puddle beneath him, nearly falling to the ground again.

“Laurens?” He was so wrapped in his thoughts he almost didn’t notice Walker behind him. “Laurens!” John turned, careful not to slip again. “There’s been a change of plans.” Obviously. “Go up and tell Morris and Grayson that we need to get to shore as soon as possible.”

John blinked, unsure if he was hearing correctly. Did he hit his head when he fell earlier? “We can’t dock in a storm like this.” He stared at Walker incredulously, an uneasy feeling in his gut. Even if they _could_ get to shore safely, they didn’t have enough men to split them between sailing the ship and performing damage control. 

“Would you rather we sink?” he barked back at him, throwing his hands in the air. “We have no choice. Go tell them!” 

And, without another word, he did. Rushed up the stairs and out into the biting open air. Turmoil raged all around. Flashes of light and the accompanying booms, louder than cannons, seeming to shake the whole sea. As if they were at war with nature itself. The ship being whipped about by the gusts and waves as if it were no more than a toy in a child’s imaginary game. John braced himself at a violent shove, then started towards the helm, Grayson at the wheel, Morris beside him. With each new wave that hit, an enormous cloud of water descended over them, the spray momentarily blinding everyone unfortunate enough to be on the deck. His journey from one end of the ship to the other took much longer than he’d like, stumbling every few steps as the ship thrashed in the water, but eventually he made it to the two of them. He was already out of breath as he screamed over the noise of the storm. 

“We need to get to shore.”

Grayson just stared at him, unable, it seemed, to respond to such a ridiculous suggestion. 

Morris glanced over at Grayson, then back at John, opening his mouth, then closing it, then opening it again. “Laurens, no offense, but are you feeling quite alright? There is absolutely no way we’re getting to shore right now.”

“Take it up with Walker! His orders, not mine.” Walker’s orders were only second to Lafayette’s on the ship, and they all knew it. “We have a bad leak. If we don’t get to shore the ship will sink, along with all of us.”

“Fuck,” groaned Grayson, while Morris covered his face with his hands. “We’ll be putting ourselves at more risk. Maybe we can at least get closer?” He turned to Morris as he spoke, looking for input. 

“Maybe,” he said, sounding skeptical. “Yeah maybe. Then if the storm clears at least we won’t have long to go before getting to land. Because if we try with things as they are…” They all watched as another flash of lightning broke across the sky, seeming to shatter the clouds into a hundred tiny shards before the accompanying thunder rolled in. “We wouldn’t be alive to see the shore.” They all braced as more spray came falling over them from the front of the ship, waiting until it settled on the floorboards before speaking again. 

“Do what you can to get us there.” John gave them both a terse nod, hesitated only a moment, then headed back below deck. He stopped at the landing, glanced towards the second set of stairs that would take him down to the hold, but took a turn instead. Slowly pushed open the door to the captains quarters, the creak of the hinges making him cringe as they cut through the relative silence around him. 

Alex was sitting against the wall, his head tucked between his knees, eyes squeezed shut. His lips were moving, but John couldn’t hear any words, unsure if they were just covered by the noises of the storm, or he truly wasn’t speaking aloud. 

He sat down next to Alex, leaning back against the cold wood. Put a hand on top of his knee. He had nothing to say. Nothing to make this better. Just kept that firm pressure to let him know someone was there. He wasn’t alone. They may all be helpless, but at least they weren’t alone. 

Eventually Alex lifted his head. Looked at him with unfocused eyes, staring through him rather than at him. “John?”

“I told you,” John said, trying to give him a reassuring smile, but instead feeling tears prick at the corner of his eyes. The reality of their situation fully settling its weight on his shoulders. He blinked quickly, trying to keep up a strong facade. Realized there was a good likelihood they’d die here on this ship, no one but the ocean to mourn them. “I’m not going anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Please leave kudos if you like this fic <3 
> 
> Leave your thoughts in the comments. I know you have thoughts. There's a lot happening, you've gotta have thoughts. 
> 
> Next update coming at you on Thursday! 
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr at @ilovefoodandgirls -- your one stop shop for updates, questions, and an all around good time


	3. Chapter 3

Eventually, the storm faded into rain and then, though it seemed impossible, even the rain slowed into nothing, the sun reaching through the clouds, desperate to illuminate the world once again. The sea settled back into its usual rippling, glassy surface. The violence and rage from mere hours ago all but forgotten as it rocked the ship gently, almost imperceptibly. The crew slowly made their way back to the deck, one by one like animals coming out of hibernation, the small sliver of sun seeming too bright. Almost suspicious after its long absence. 

Alex and John arrived on deck last, changed into sets of dress clothes that had been stored at the bottom of a chest in their quarters, only used to blend in with civilians when they would be going to shore. After growing accustomed to the loose, practical items they wore at sea, wearing formal clothing felt unnatural. Too stiff. Too tight. John felt like all of his movements were restricted, and it struck him that it was a fitting metaphor for all that he had experienced back in his old life. He smoothed the wrinkles out of his shirt nervously as they walked over to Lafayette, a little ways from the helm, leaning against the side of the ship and staring towards the port.

He turned as he heard their footsteps approaching. Gave them both a smile, put an arm around Alex as he leaned up against him. “We should be docking momentarily.” 

John thought maybe Alex would be relieved by that, especially after all the twists their original plan had taken. But when he looked at his face, his lips were turned down in a frown. He didn’t say anything, but even when trying, he wasn’t the type of man who could hide his emotions easily. John swallowed nervously, stared out at the approaching shoreline. It always felt strange to go on land nowadays. Felt wrong. He had never imagined a life where he’d be more comfortable on a boat than on dry land, but the world had a way of proving him incorrect over and over again. 

“I need to tell you two something.” Lafayette’s voice was stable, but he stared out at the sea while he spoke rather than looking at them. When neither responded, he continued. “The leak did some real damage.”

“We can fix it while we’re docked,” John replied. Sure it meant the stop would take a little longer than anticipated, but at least they would get to shore alive. 

“You misunderstand. Not just structural damage, though that is a problem as well.” He was still watching the soft waves in front of him. “The water flooded the hold. We were able to get most of it out, but not before damage to almost all of the stored goods was irreversible.”

Alex turned to look up at him, his expression hardening. “We have nothing? Nothing to trade when we get in? Nothing to eat?” His voice picked up speed and volume as he went on, a slight panic seeping into his tone. 

“Well, _nothing_ , that is a bit of a stretch. But most of it is gone, yes.” 

“Fuck,” he hissed, leaning against the bulwark. “Why didn’t we move some of it at least when we first noticed? We could have saved _something_.”

“We were very busy with the leak and not letting the ship sink, Alexander. We did not have a man to spare for anything like that.” It wasn’t said in an accusatory way, but the point still landed. Alex deflated, resting his head on top of his arms. 

“Yeah.” He stared down at the water, hiding the frustration and regret on his face from everyone else. “Yeah. I know.” 

“So,” John said, looking at both of them in turn. “What do we do?” 

“What can we do?” Alex groaned, head still down on his arms. “Steal some shit I guess. I don’t think that’ll be enough to supply the ship though. And we can’t be obvious about it since we can’t exactly just sail away. With our ship broken. Fuck.”

“Alternate plan,” Lafayette said as Alex frowned at the ocean as if he blamed it for their troubles. Maybe he did. “We ask for help. At least to fund the repairs and eat for a few days.”

Thrown off by that, John looked up in surprise. “Do we know anyone on this island?”

“No.” Alex’s voice was curt as he glared at the water. 

“Alexander. Please.” It was less of a plea and more of a command.

“No. Laf, I know what you’re thinking, and it’s a bad idea. He won’t be able to help, even if we can find him. He doesn’t have money.”

“His circumstances could have changed.” Alex rolled his eyes at Lafayette’s argument. “Even if not, he knows other people, yes? Has connections?”

“It’s a bad idea.”

“It is our only idea.”

John watched as they went back and forth, opponents in a strange, verbal tennis match. Unsure who and what exactly they were talking about. 

“Alexander, you have already provided counterpoints to your previous ideas. This is the only plan that makes sense.”

“Oh, I could provide counterpoints to this plan as well, if that’s what you require to realize how bad of an idea it is.” He was still sulking, but his tone was sharper now, verging on condescending.

Lafayette brought his hands to his head, rubbing small circles into his temples. 

“First counterpoint: he has no money.” He threw up one finger as he spoke, beginning to count off on his hand. “Second: he’s never cared what happened to me. Third: he’s more concerned with his own debts than our situation. Fourth: fuck your plan. It’s not going to do any good.”

Lafayette let him cool down for a few seconds before replying, giving him an unwavering look as he spoke. “It is the only plan we have with even a chance of getting us back on our ship with supplies. You know this. Put aside your pride for one minute, Alexander, and help all of us. This is not just about you.”

He continued to glare at the water, but shrugged. A sign of surrender. “Fine.” The bitterness in his voice cut through the space between them, sharp and inflexible.   
“But don’t blame me when it doesn’t work out.”

There was a beat of heavy silence before John decided it was a good time to speak up. “Either of you want to fill me in or…?” Alex and Lafayette looked towards him, surprised perhaps that he was still standing there since they seemed to have forgotten throughout the course of their conversation. 

Lafayette looked towards Alex expectantly, knowing it wasn’t his story to share. 

Alex looked away again and gave a sigh, watching water lap against the side of the ship. “Lafayette wants me to ask my father for help.”

John eyebrows flew up in surprise. “Your father? Is he here?”

“Last I knew.”

Sensing this was a sore subject, John hesitated, unsure what he was allowed to say. “If he is here, isn’t it worth at least reaching out? If he can’t help, no harm done, right?”

Alex shrugged again, tired of arguing the point, a rare situation for him. “Sure. Whatever you say.” 

John looked at Lafayette helplessly, but he seemed almost as lost with the whole situation. 

“You know it’s ultimately up to you, right? We’re not going to force you.”

“Yeah,” he responded, his voice muffled as he spoke down into his arms, the breeze whistling softly past them. “And if I don’t do it then it’s my fault when we all starve.” 

“We’re not saying that, Alex.”

He looked up at John, his face a little softer now. “That doesn’t make it less true. I know Laf is right. There isn’t a better option. I just hope…” he trailed off, chewing his lower lip, his hand tightening into a fist where it rested on the wood. “It doesn’t matter. “We’ll have to find him when we land though. It might not be an easy task, and he may not even be on this island still.”

By the time they stepped foot on land it was late afternoon, the sun finally shining down fully, making the day truly feel like summer. John wiped sweat from his brow as they made their way down a cobbled street, the humidity thick as it settled around them. Lafayette and Alex walked alongside him, the three of them heading to a tavern to see what they could find out from the locals. It was strange, seeing the two of them in normal clothes. He knew it’s how they must have dressed back before they left civilized society. Just like he himself had. But it still felt strange. Like since he only ever saw them wearing their sea clothing, it was all they had ever worn in their lives. Lafayette had consulted with Walker before they departed, decided the best course of action was to have the rest of the men attempt repairs on the ship while they worked out their plan. John didn’t mind. It was nice to be together, just the three of them. Kingstown was much different than Charleston. Less threatening. Less tense. They could walk around freely, not exactly truthful about their identities, but also not hiding. Not in disguise. Just blending comfortably with the inhabitants of the city. He took a deep breath of the air, a mix of salt water and food cooking at the stalls lining the street. His stomach grumbled, and he was suddenly aware of the fact that he hadn’t eaten all day. That one discarded piece of smoked meat a strong regret in his mind. 

The tavern they came across was large, a brick building that needed some repair, but overall seemed to be a well-frequented establishment. They could hear the chatter coming from inside as they approached, the windows thrown open to let the breeze flow through the stale air. Lafayette held the door open for the other two, all three of them glancing around at the interior. Dark, smelling strongly of ale and fresh cooking. John’s mouth watered. They took seats at the bar, Lafayette putting in an order for three drinks and accepting them with a quick thanks, passing them down to the other two. John took a sip, the strength of it surprising him. He glanced to his left at the other two as he placed his glass back on the table. “Can we get something to eat as well? Just something small?”

Alex’s face was conflicted, staring at another man’s plate of food that had just come out of the kitchen with longing. “McHenry said they’d try to acquire something for dinner tonight. We should probably wait until we get back. Save the money we do have.” 

Lafayette took a sip of his own drink, nodded a little in agreement. 

John sighed, but knew they were right. They didn’t have the funds for it. Willed his stomach to be quiet for a little while. 

Lafayette, charming as always, struck up a conversation with the man sitting on the other side of them. John wondered if that charisma was an inherited trait or a consequence of growing up among the French aristocracy. Wherever it came from, he had to admit, it was very useful. John simply listened to most of their talking, sipped his drink. Alex was in full blown conversation with them as well. The three of them laughing and chatting together. Eventually the other man bought them all a round of drinks. John was already feeling the effects of the alcohol clouding his brain, but hey. Free drinks. Eventually the man saw a friend of his come through the door, and he was motioned over as well, introduced to the rest of them. John did his best to keep up, but he was distracted by the way his head kept spinning. By the time he was halfway through the second drink he found it hard to focus on the conversation. Alex, still sitting next to him, seemed to notice he was having difficulty staying present. Switched his glass out for his own empty one. It vaguely registered in John’s brain that it might not be the best idea considering how much of a lightweight Alex tended to be, but he didn’t have the energy to go much further down that line of thought. With no drink in front of him to keep him occupied, he shifted his body so he was facing the rest of the group. He was only half paying attention, so he wasn’t sure how Alex and Lafayette got to that point, but suddenly, clearly, he heard: “James Hamilton? I know the guy. We're not close, but we’ve had a few run-ins.” John wasn’t even sure who said it. There were more people around than he remembered. More friends must have joined their companion at some point. 

“I have a matter I wish to discuss with him,” Lafayette supplied easily. “Do you happen to know his whereabouts at the moment?”

“Yeah, one second.” He asked the bartender for a quill and a piece of parchment. Scribbled some directions down. “That should get you there,” he advised, handing the note to Lafayette. “Now, how about one last round of drinks on me?” 

The other men around him gave short cheers of agreement as ales were passed out to all of them. Alex gave a sidelong glance to John, eyeing him with concern. “You okay?” he asked quietly. 

“Yeah. M’fine. Just hungry. And it’s hot in here.”

“Mmm,” he agreed. “It is a little warm.” Took in John’s flushed appearance. “We’re gonna get food once we’re back on the ship, okay?” Something finally seemed to click in his brain as he said it. “Did you eat anything today?” 

John shook his head, the movement making him feel increasingly unsteady. “Was going to have breakfast this morning but… well… everything got fucked up.” The words were fine in his brain, but he could hear them slurring when they came out of his mouth. 

“Shit.” He glanced over at Lafayette, still engaged in conversation with the rest of them. “We’ll head out after this,” he reassured him. “We can’t leave right after they bought us drinks without drinking them. But after this we’ll go. Sound good?” John nodded, sure he was making too much of a fuss over everything. It’s not like he was in pain or about to be sick or anything like that. 

They finished the last of their drinks, everyone spending a few minutes with the necessary “thank yous” and “pleasure meeting yous” and “goodbyes”. As they stood, John swayed dangerously, stumbling a bit but regaining his footing before he fell properly.

Some of the others had asked if he was okay, but Alex waved them off. “Just a few too many drinks,” he said with a laugh. Put an arm around him. Seeing how concerned they were, John wondered if they’d buy him some food too, but Alex steered him towards the door. “Come on, let’s get you back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John gets drunk a lot in this series... oh John... 
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Please leave kudos if you're enjoying!
> 
> Leave some thoughts in the comments for me! I am confined to my one bedroom apartment and need human interaction. Please talk to me. For my sanity. 
> 
> Next update coming at you on Saturday!
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr at @ilovefoodandgirls -- your one stop shop for updates, questions, and a bunch of other random stuff


	4. Chapter 4

The fresh air hit John like a slap in the face, jolting his senses and making the world refocus the tiniest bit. Alex stumbled on the cobblestones as he supported his weight, and John lost his balance, swaying again but managing to stay upright. 

“Here, let me.” Lafayette came up next to him. Put an arm around his shoulders and held him up as they walked. Heaved a deep sigh as he glanced up at the sky. “Both of you are such lightweights.”

“I tripped!” Alex pointed back indignantly to the dip between the stones that had caught him up. “You ass. These shoes are harder to walk in than my boots,” he insisted, arguing with no one. “I’m not used to them anymore. That doesn’t mean I’m _drunk_. I would have tripped there completely sober.”

“Ah, so you simply have no sense of balance?” Lafayette teased, holding in laughter. Alex glared back at him. 

“How far is it to the ship?” John asked, leaning into Lafayette’s side, forgetting to keep his feet moving for a moment. 

“We _just_ left the tavern,” Alex said from his other side, walking a little easier now that he was unencumbered by John. “The door’s right behind us.”

Unwisely, John turned around too quick, trying to see the door, but getting tangled up in his feet and Lafayette’s arms and falling. He only avoided the ground when Lafayette caught him at the last minute, pulling him back up with a grunt. “Just walk, love.” He set him back on his feet properly and patted his shoulder. “I promise you, the door has not changed since you last saw it.”

Alex snorted a laugh beside him, falling back into conversation with Lafayette. Since they had first gone into the tavern, night had fallen, the sun gone for the day after a too-short appearance and the stars shining brightly. John wanted to lay down, count them like he used to do when he was a kid. 

“Seriously, you think he’s okay, Laf?” John was aware they were talking about him, but couldn’t think quickly enough to respond.

“He will be fine. Maybe it is just the heat?”

“He hasn’t eaten. At all. Probably dehydrated too.” 

“It has been quite a day.”

“Yeah.”

Silence settled between the three of them, highlighting the subtle background noises the night offered. Bugs chirping, the faded noises of people going about their business in their homes, the slap of the waves against the rocks lining the harbor. It was so peaceful. So much more inviting than their last journey to shore. John smiled, closing his eyes and breathing in the fresh air. 

When they made it back to the ship, the smell of stew greeted them, wafting over the breeze before they even boarded. John’s stomach growled once again, and Lafayette rubbed a hand soothingly on his upper arm. Once they were safely on the deck, Alex helped John sit on the floorboards while Lafayette went over to grab them something to eat. Sat down next to him with a hand resting on his leg and let out a yawn. “You gonna be okay?” 

“Told you, m’fine.” 

“Sit up and say it without slurring, and I’ll believe you.” He laughed lightly at the irritated look John gave him, offering a grin in response. 

“Just need food. And sleep. I’m tired.”

“Yeah,” Alex sighed. “Guess that’s my fault. Sorry.”

John frowned, trying to figure out why he was apologizing. “Why aren’t you…? Like this?” He gestured at himself, unable to articulate exactly how he was feeling. 

Alex laughed again. “A fuller stomach and better tolerance for the climate?” John snuggled into his side, letting his eyes close and listening to the waves. “Don’t fall asleep. You need to eat.” But the way he was stroking his hair, scratching gently at his scalp, wasn’t helping him to stay awake, and by the time Lafayette came back with three bowls he had nearly drifted off. “Jack?” Alex pushing his shoulder gently. “Come on, sit up.”

The smell was enough to rouse him. He reluctantly pulled himself up, his desire to be asleep battling with his desire to get something besides ale in his stomach. Lafayette passed the bowl into his hands, coming to join the two of them on the floor. “Eat, my love,” he insisted. “You will feel better once you eat.”

And he did. By the time he was halfway finished he felt marginally better, his head cleared of some of the fog. He sighed contentedly, still leaning lightly against Alex. “So,” he said between mouthfuls. “We have an address?”

He could feel Alex tense against him, as if he had forgotten. But he responded all the same. “Yeah. We have an address.”

“Are we going tomorrow then?” He was simply trying to make conversation, catching up from earlier in the night when he hadn’t been able to focus on the topics being discussed around him. 

“We?” Alex looked between the two of them, clearly taken aback. 

John was almost worried he had said something wrong when Lafayette intervened. “Yes, why not? Are we not all invested in making sure this turns out well?” Alex just stared back at him. “Plus it would be good for you to have some company, Alexander.”

Alex still seemed unsure, but there was a soft smile playing at his lips. “Yeah, I suppose.” The three of them finished their dinner under the starlight, quiet conversation and laughter keeping them busy until they made their way to bed, all of them too exhausted to even change out of their clothes before falling onto the mattress. 

When he awoke, the first thing John noticed was a faint headache pulsing behind his temples. He kept his eyes closed. Turning over to his right, he was surprised to find Alex still in the bed, one arm brushing against him as he moved. Now that he was listening for it, he could hear the quiet sound of his breathing. He wound one arm around him, tugged him in closer. Alex made a sleepy noise, turned around awkwardly without breaking his hold. “Good morning,” he said with a yawn, placing a light kiss on his forehead. 

“Morning,” John sighed happily, eyes still closed, the light shining into their quarters far too bright. He wrapped his arm tighter around Alex, relishing in the contact and using his body to block out the sun. 

Alex laughed, bright and genuine, as the last bits of sleep wore off. “Too warm, Jack.” He put a little bit of distance between the two of them, earning a displeased noise in response. “It is. We can’t cuddle, we’ll get all sweaty.” He pushed himself up, sitting against the wall and trying to work up the will to leave the bed. That plan didn’t get very far when John put his head in his lap. “You’re the worst.” His voice was still warm though as he ran a hand through his curls, glancing towards the window. “Shit, it’s late. We should get up. I didn’t mean to sleep this long.” He scooted to the edge of the bed, letting John’s head fall onto the mattress before standing and stretching his back out. 

John let out a disgruntled huff, turning onto his side properly and squinting his eyes open at the blinding light. “Five more minutes?”

“You said you wanted to come today. Better get up, or I’m leaving without you.”

John pushed himself upright, making no move to stand. “Wait, come here for a second.”

Alex gave him a quizzical look, stepping back towards the bed. “What is it?”

John leaned up and captured his lips in a kiss, pulling him back down so he was kneeling on the side of the bed. Alex made a short, surprised sound into the kiss, putting a hand on the back of John’s head and returning his affections. 

As they deepened the kiss, John took the opportunity while Alex was distracted to pull him back down to the mattress, rolling on top of him and running a hand underneath the fabric of his shirt. He parted from Alex’s lips just briefly to kiss along his jaw, down his neck, over his collarbone. Loved the feeling of Alex arching up into him, breathing deeply below him, hand twisted into his hair, tugging gently. He pushed aside the material of his shirt to get at more skin, salty against his lips. 

“Are you trying to trick me into staying?” he asked, lifting his hips slightly off the mattress to press into John’s thigh. “Because it’s working.”

John smiled, lifting back up to kiss him again, their lips brushing as he spoke. “Wouldn’t dream of trying to trick you. You’re too smart for that.”

“Mmm,” his words muffled as they kissed again. “Sure seems like that’s what you’re doing. And I find myself much more intelligent when you’re not distracting me with your charms, John Laurens. You’re one of my few weaknesses I’m afraid.” He breathed a pleased sigh as John tugged his shirt off, the warm air refreshing as it hit his skin. 

At that moment, they were interrupted by the creak of the door swinging opening. Both of them whipped their heads up in unison, other activities forgotten. Luckily, it was only Lafayette, and he eyed the both of them with a smirk. With John straddling Alex on the mattress, it was pretty clear what they had been doing. “I was wondering what was taking you two so long.”

John felt a blush rise to his cheeks at being caught, but Alex just gave a soft laugh as he walked over to join them by the bed. He leaned down, pulling first Alex, then John, into a deep kiss. Looked between the two of them reluctantly before saying, “We really do need to be departing. It will be a long day.”

“Sorry sweetheart,” Alex said, giving John a quick kiss on the cheek before squirming out from under him. “You’re outnumbered. We’ll pick this up later.”

John whined quietly, more to himself than anyone, but finally got to his feet as well. He was far too aware of the electricity still running through his veins to be comfortable in the summer heat as he tugged on his clothes, attempted to tie back his hair into a manageable state. Hurried after Alex and Lafayette, determined to grab a quick bite of breakfast before heading out this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this fluffiness because next chapter we're meeting Alex's dad... 
> 
> Please leave kudos if you're enjoying!
> 
> Please leave comments as well <3 I need human interaction while quarantine continues. Tell me if you're worried about James Hamilton or the boys doing anything stupid! 
> 
> Next update coming at you on Monday!
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr at @ilovefoodandgirls -- your one stop shop for updates, questions (seriously ask me things I like talking to people), and a bunch of other random stuff


	5. Chapter 5

The address they arrived at was a small lot set at the outskirts of the city, a modest sized home surrounded by lush foliage. “Is this the place?” Lafayette asked, looking towards Alex for confirmation. 

He shrugged, clearly trying to come off nonchalant, but his nerves were showing through. “I wouldn’t know anymore than either of you.” He took stock of their environment, looked up and down the street for any sign that they were in the correct place. “It’s got to be though, right? The directions were pretty clear.” Instead of walking up the path, he just stood there, staring at the door. 

“Do you want a minute?” John asked, not sure what the protocol was for this sort of situation. What’s the best way to support your lover as he deals with meeting up with his estranged father for the first time in years to ask for help with your damaged ship?

Alex rolled his eyes and responded with a little more edge to his words than necessary. “I’m fine, John.” As if to prove his point, he pushed aside his hesitation and walked to the door, leaving the others to hurry behind him. He paused for the faintest moment, took a deep breath, then rapped the knocker hard on the door. For a few minutes, the only response was silence. John could see Alex itching to knock again, but he held himself back. Bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited in an attempt to release some of the nervous energy. Finally, the sound of footsteps cut through the silence, and the door opened to reveal who John could only assume was James Hamilton. 

He was able to see the resemblance. It was distorted by age, a difference in lifestyles, but he could still make out some similarities. Something in their faces. The eyes, nose, jawline. Even if he hadn’t known whose house they were going to, John would have known they were related from their faces alone. 

Alex waited to speak, searching for some hint of recognition. All he got was, “Hello. What can I do for you, gentlemen?” 

He let out a quiet breath, but if the lack of familiarity stung, he didn’t let it show. “Alexander Hamilton,” he said, extending his hand in a gesture that felt too formal and too casual for the situation all at once. “Nice to see you again, father.” 

James Hamilton blinked a few times, taken aback. He took his hand, unsure what else to do as he fumbled for words. “Alexander? I had no idea you were coming. You must forgive me, the letter must have gotten lost in the post.”

He pulled his hand back, resting it awkwardly at his side. “No need for apologies, it’s an unexpected visit. Terribly sorry to show up at your home unannounced like this. Unforeseen circumstances arose. May we come in?” 

“Of course.” He pulled the door open wider for them. “Please come in. Make yourselves comfortable.”

The three of them walked past, John and Lafayette both hanging back a bit, unsure what to do or say in this situation that was distinctly uncomfortable. “Father, these are my, uh, business partners, John and Lafayette.” He motioned between them awkwardly. “John, Lafayette, this is my father, James Hamilton.”

“Nice to meet you boys,” James said, shaking each of their hands in turn. “Can I get you anything? Tea? Ale? Rum?”

“Some tea would be nice,” Lafayette said, sitting down in one of the chairs. John nodded in agreement.

“Rum if you don’t mind,” Alex said. 

“Not at all.” He headed to through a doorway on the far side of the room, calling behind him, “I’ll be back with those in a moment.”

The silence settled thick like a cloud of dust. In an attempt to prevent it from suffocating them, John cleared his throat. “He seems nice.” 

Lafayette said nothing, just glanced at Alex. Waiting to see which direction his response was headed before contributing. 

“Yes, he’s plenty nice.” He didn’t elaborate further. Just stared at his shoes while the other two watched him. 

A crack of relief broke through the tension when James called for help carrying in the drinks, and Alex took the chance to excuse himself from the awkward silence. When they came back, John accepted his tea and sat down, glad for anything to do with his hands while Alex’s father attempted to make small talk. 

“I haven’t heard from you in a while, Alexander. What have you been up to?”

It took John by surprise to see Alex look almost guilty. He hadn’t known that they kept in touch at all. “Sorry, we’ve been very busy. It’s been hard to get the chance to write between trips, unfortunately.”

“Remind me, what kind of business do you all partake in?”

“Trading,” Lafayette offered. It wasn’t entirely incorrect. 

“I hope you’ve had more luck than I have. It’s hard to make a living off of trading in times like these. Too uncertain with all the conflict.”

“We’ve done well enough,” Alex said, still standing, his hands clasped tightly in front of him. “For the most part. We’ve been fortunate that the war hasn’t affected our trading much. Just occasionally proved an inconvenience.”

“Well, you’ll have to tell me your secrets.”

Lafayette, probably sensing the conversation taking a dangerous turn, stepped in. “Ah, no secrets unfortunately. Just persistence and good fortune.”

Alex finally sat down, taking a spot next to John on the settee, sitting on the edge and looking completely unrelaxed. “So, how has the island been treating you?”

“Oh, it’s fine here. Business has been a little better. It’s not ideal but–” He finished the sentence with a shrug. “I can’t complain.” He took a sip of his own drink. “Would you all like to stay for supper?”

“If it wouldn’t be too much of an imposition,” Alex said, the polite formality sounding so casual and practiced from his lips that John wondered if they had entered an alternate reality. He was used to brash, bossy, unfiltered Alex. The one who didn’t care how he came across. This version of him was unexpected, and it was a hat he was surprised to find Alex wore very well when it suited him. He felt like he was getting a small glimpse into what his life must have been like when he was in the colonies, working with Washington. 

“Of course not. I’d love to have you stay longer. There’s so much we have to catch up on.” Another stretch of silence while all four of them busied themselves with their drinks. “So, you never mentioned, how did you find yourselves on St. Vincent? If it wasn’t a planned trip.”

Lafayette looked towards Alex, ready to step in if needed, but Alex simply set his glass down, sighed. “Ah, well yes, that’s a story. We were on our way to Barbados. We had some business in Bridgetown. And then the storm came in- you saw the storm the other day, right?” Waited for his father to nod before continuing. “Yes, well when the storm came we were still at sea. It was absolutely dreadful out there. Very violent weather. Our ship actually took on a bit of damage, so we had to dock earlier than expected. I’m sure our trading partners won’t be happy for the delay,” he lied easily. “But we’re waiting on repairs at the moment. Our ship’s in no condition to sail, and even if she were, we suffered a loss on most of our cargo as well.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that, son.” He stared down at his hands in his lap. “I’ve had my fair share of misfortune when it comes to business. It’s never easy.” John watched Alex carefully, saw him clench his jaw just a little but otherwise keep his expression calm. He expected James to ask if there was anything he could do to help, but his last statement just hung in the air, a half finished sentiment. 

Lafayette cleared his throat, causing the three of them to look up in surprise. “We were depending on this sale to replenish our food supply as well. We are running woefully low. Do you know of anyone on the island who may be able to loan us some money to restock before we sail out?” James, clearly not expecting the request, grew slightly flustered at the question. “We would of course be willing to pay interest. It would be a safe move, we are never down for long. You of all people should know that Alexander makes good on his promises. I am sure you could put in a good word for us somewhere.” He tilted his head to the side with a cordial smile, waiting on his response. 

John was still watching Alex. He hadn’t fully relaxed since the moment they stepped through the doorway, and now, if it was even possible, he seemed more on edge. Muscles in his neck and shoulders tense as he listened to Lafayette. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath as they waited on his father’s response. 

“Well, of course I’m sure you’d be good for the money. I’m not concerned about that. It’s just that…” he hesitated, avoiding eye contact with the rest of them. “It’s been particularly hard around here as of late, when it comes to trading, and I’m worried it may be hard to find someone to finance you.”

“Is that so?” Lafayette asked, feigning surprise. “That is so strange. It has been such a good year for sugarcane. Tobacco and coffee as well. I would expect business in these parts to be flourishing. You must know at least a few men who are doing well right now, through your business connections.”

He was caught in a stalemate, and from the resigned look on his face he knew it. “Perhaps,” he supplied, pressing his lips together. “Yes, perhaps I can figure something out. I’ll need a bit of time.”

“Understandably,” Lafayette agreed, nodding. “We appreciate the effort.” John mimicked Lafayette, nodding as well, feeling obligated to show some expression of gratitude.

“I’d like to see the ship tomorrow, if that’s alright. Get an idea of how much damage and loss you’re looking at myself.”

The three of them all made eye contact, just for a quick moment. Having James on the ship would be inconvenient to say the least. Dangerous at its worst. There was evidence of their activities below deck. The other men might let something slip. 

“It’s such a far way down to the harbor, and we don’t want to trouble you too much,” John supplied, Alex nodding next to him in agreement. “We could give you an estimate of what we’ll need to restock if that would be easier. Alexander keeps excellent records after all. We could easily pull that information for you.” 

“Yes father, please don’t strain yourself on our account. We can handle everything else. All we need is someone to supply the loan.”

“Nonsense, I have errands to run in town anyway. It’s no bother at all.” He finished off the rest of his ale and put it down on the side table next to him. “Plus, I’d like to see where my son spends his days. I only get such small snippets of your adventures from your letters after all.”

Alex drained his own glass, setting it down in front of them with a little more force than he intended. “Of course. We’d love for you to see the ship, wouldn’t we?” He turned to the other two, who both offered their agreement, unable to do much else given the circumstance. “Wonderful. Now that that’s settled, when were you planning on coming down? So we can arrange to meet you?” 

“I figured you could all just stay the night, and we’d head down in the morning. It’ll be late by the time we’ve eaten, and the trip can be difficult in the dark.”

Alex’s voice seemed to catch in his throat for a second before he responded. “Of course, that makes the most sense. Perfect.” 

“Can I take those back to the kitchen for you?” James motioned to their empty cups and left the room again with his arms full. 

Lafayette leaned closer, his voice a harsh whisper so he wouldn’t be overheard. “He cannot come to the ship. You know this.”

“What was I supposed to do?” Alex answered back, voice just as harsh and probably a smidge louder than it should’ve been. “He’s going to get suspicious if we tell him no.”

“Alexander, this is a bad idea.”

“It was your idea in the first place to even-” He cut himself off, realizing he had started to raise his voice. Pressed his lips together and turned to the side. Took a deep breath. “Look, we just have to be careful. It’ll be fine. We need the money. Obviously.” He chewed on his lower lip. “This is how we get it.”

John was tempted to rest a reassuring hand on Alex’s shoulder, but the awareness of where they were stopped him short, and he maintained a respectable distance between the two of them on the settee instead. “Alex is right. It’ll be fine. The men know better than to say anything in front of an outsider. And I mean…” John paused, unsure what waters he was treading in. “He’s family, right? His intentions seem good. It’s not like we’re inviting the royal navy on board.”

If anything, Alex looked less sure after John’s remarks, but at that moment James walked back into the room, and their conversation came to an abrupt halt. They made easy small talk between the four of them until supper, the uncertainty of what the next day would bring weighing heavily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex is not having a good time. No one is. But Alex especially. 
> 
> Leave some comments to brighten my day! Tell me your thoughts on what's gonna happen, what you like about the chapter/story in general, what you had for lunch today... literally tell me anything
> 
> Also leave some kudos if you're enjoying the story!
> 
> Next update coming at you on Wednesday!
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr at @ilovefoodandgirls -- your one stop shop for updates, questions (please talk to me), and a bunch of other random stuff


	6. Chapter 6

They retired late that night, all three of them tucked into the one small guest room. Lafayette had made himself a spot to sleep on the floor with some blankets, insisting the other two should take the bed. Arguing they were both smaller than him, and therefore would fit better. He was already fast asleep, the soft sound of snores drifting up, when John shifted, uncomfortably warm and cramped, feeling sweat just beginning to bead on his forehead. He wriggled out from under the sheet, flipping over and staring at the ceiling as he tried to get his thoughts to quiet down. 

“Come back,” Alex mumbled, looping an arm around his waist and pulling him closer. Sighed lightly against his skin. 

“It’s too hot.” John pushed his arm away, mindful of where they were and keeping his voice low. He scooted a little further, leaving a small gap between them. 

Alex ran fingers over his abs, covered by a borrowed nightshirt. Lowered his voice to a quiet purr. “I still owe you from earlier.”

It took John’s brain a minute to catch up, and when he did he flushed with the thought of doing anything here. “Yeah?” His mind went suddenly blank as Alex continued to trace his fingers lower. “You don’t have to. I mean, I didn’t expect you to. If you didn’t want to do anything, that’s fine.” 

He felt Alex’s breath against his neck as he laughed, and it made him shiver despite the heat. “When would I ever not want to touch you? You’re irresistible.” He reached under the nightshirt, fingers trailing along his hip and sending butterflies to his stomach. 

“Alex,” he moaned, pressing back just slightly. He suddenly didn’t mind how hot it was. 

“You have to keep quiet, honey.” He brought his other hand up to gently grab his jaw, turn his face so they were looking at one another. “Can you do that for me?” 

John turned slightly, bridging the gap between them, pulling him into a deep kiss and allowing Alex to dig his nails into the skin at his hips as he tugged him closer. “Yeah,” he sighed, out of breath as he pulled away. “Just, don’t tease me. Please, just touch me.” 

Alex smirked at the desperate tone already tinting his voice. Pushed himself up so he was on top, straddling him. Leaned down and took his half-hard cock in his mouth, listening with satisfaction as John cut off his own moan with the nearest pillow, pressing it to his face and holding his breath while Alex worked him over with his tongue until he was fully hard. He pulled off, causing John to whine into the pillow, the absence of contact a stark contrast to what he had just been doing. “Move that. I want to see your face.”

He swallowed hard, moving the pillow to the side. “How do you expect me-” He bit his own lip to cut himself off as Alex sunk back down, licking up the underside of his dick and then taking just the head into his mouth, flicking his tongue over his slit. “Alex,” he warned, voice shaking. Knew it would be impossible to stay quiet like this. 

“Shush,” he said, lips brushing his skin. “If you don’t stay quiet, I’m going to stop. Is that what you want?” John was sure he was doing this on purpose. Torturing him. And that fact turned him on even more. He felt the heat pooling within him as he bit his lip. . 

“No,” he whispered, bringing his hand up to bite his knuckles while Alex took him deep into the back of his throat. He built up a quick rhythm, moving up and down over John. He made quiet sounds of encouragement as he went, and John tangled his other hand in his hair, urging him on, all the while forcing himself to choke back any sounds that threatened to escape. Soon, too soon, he felt his body tightening, pleasure cresting. “Alex,” he groaned, vaguely conscious of the fact that his voice wasn’t as quiet as it should be, but unable to help himself. “I’m going to-” He bit his lip to stop another moan. 

Alex pulled off just long enough to say, “Good.” Then he was doubling his efforts, taking him deeper and deeper, allowing John to thrust up into his throat. In a matter of seconds he felt his body toppling over the edge, his orgasm hot and bright like electricity, sparks going off behind his eyelids as he arched up into the sweet warmth of his mouth. 

Sooner than he would have liked, Alex was sitting up, leaning back on his heels, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and swallowing. John could feel his breath coming in sharp pants, his body loose and relaxed. He let his head fall back against the mattress. Out of the corner of his vision he saw Alex push himself to his feet, could feel the weight on the bed shift without him. 

He rolled over onto his side to look at him. “Hey, do you want me to…?” He let the rest of the question hang in the air. He had been expecting Alex back on him as soon as he was finished, hungry for reciprocation. Their sexual encounters weren’t normally brief. 

Alex just gave him a small smile, shaking his head. “I’m alright. Really. I was just going to get a quick drink to, um...” He cleared his throat lightly, his tone growing a little awkward. “To clear the taste out of my mouth before bed.” He gave an almost apologetic look. 

“Are you sure?” John couldn’t help the frown tugging at the corners of his lips. “I don’t mind, Alex.”

“No, no.” He waved him off. “It’s fine.” Seeing the concerned way his forehead creased, Alex returned to the side of the bed again, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. “Really, it’s fine. Just go to bed, love. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

John wanted to argue, but he was exhausted from the last couple of days and the mattress felt inviting under his body as the effort of staying awake grew increasingly difficult. It was still warm in the small room, but the breeze had picked up, and the air coming in through the cracked window felt good on his skin. He rolled over with a small yawn and let sleep pull him under. By the time Alex crept back into the room he was already gone.

The morning rose bright with sunshine, the weather so cheerful it gave the impression that the storm a couple of days prior had to have been a dream. It was the type of weather that had a tendency to lift the spirits. Apparently Alex had missed that message though. He was pacing the floor of the guest room when John awoke, voice going a mile a minute. Lafayette responded during the pauses in his rambling, most likely when he was finally forced to take a breath. Still half asleep, John squeezed his eyes shut again and rolled over, hoping to get a few more minutes of peace. 

“Are you finally awake?” He kept his face pressed down into the pillow and didn’t move. “John, come on. I saw you open your eyes.”

“No, I’m asleep,” he replied, the words muffled. Heard Lafayette laugh. 

“Get up.” John felt the weight on the mattress shift as Alex knelt down on it, shaking his shoulder with no intention of being gentle. “It’s late, and we’ll have to leave soon. My God, I’ll never understand how you can sleep so much.”

He turned over, shoving Alex off of him and blinking his eyes open as he adjusted to the light. Stretched his whole body out and then slowly pushed himself into a sitting position. Alex was already back on his feet, pacing again. 

“Why are you in such a state?” He could hear the traces of sleep still in his own voice. 

Alex rolled his eyes. “The same reason we were _all_ panicked last night. Try to keep up.” 

“Alexander,” Lafayette warned, leaning against the wall and looking exasperated. “You do not always have to take your irritability out on other people. Everything is going to be fine, just relax.”

Alex stopped, turning around to face him sharply. “I’m not going to just sit back and let things get fucked up.”

“Alex,” John sighed from the bed. “It’ll be fine. You and Lafayette have surrounded yourself with smart, capable people. The crew won’t do anything to give us away.”

Alex started moving again, staring at the ceiling. “It’s not that I don’t trust the crew. I do. It's just… I don’t know. I think you’re both underestimating the risk here.” He paused at the far side of the room, staring at the wall for a beat, then turned on his heel and started in the other direction. “He’s not harmless, you know.”

Lafayette hesitated before deciding to speak. “Alexander. I know he wasn’t there for you as a child, but he seems like he genuinely wants to help.”

Alex spun around, his voice rising harshly. “It’s not about that!” He brought a hand up to rub at his face. “Okay? It’s not that I’m holding some sort of grudge. I’m just trying to be realistic.” He turned sharply, facing John. “Would you be comfortable letting _your_ father know what you’ve been doing recently? Would you trust he wouldn’t do anything dangerous with that information?” 

John blinked, surprised and uncomfortable to be dragged back into it. “No,” he said, staring down at his hands. “I wouldn’t.”

“Exactly. So don’t act like I’m crazy for being concerned here.” 

“You’re not crazy. Neither of us think you are.” John finally got up from the bed, stretching his back out again as he stood and wincing at the way his spine popped a little. He made his way to where Alex was and put an arm out to stop his pacing, attempting to get his full attention. “We have to do this though, right? We’re all just trying to get through the day. And we can’t do that if you’re wound up like this. Just breathe and calm down so you don’t look like you’re hiding something when we go out there.” He pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, resting his hand on his shoulder. 

Alex let out a long breath, the fire inside of him easing down a bit. “Yeah.” Leaned his head down on John’s hand. “Yeah, okay. Just don’t let your guard down, alright? Either of you.”

“We won’t.”

The three of them joined James for breakfast, huddled around the small dining table. The food was simple enough, but none of them had eaten fresh bread for over a month, and they had to stop themselves from devouring the whole loaf within five minutes. All of them chatted idly over the small meal, filling the silence simply to avoid seeming rude. The boys weighing each answer and topic of conversation quickly in their minds to avoid anything that might cause trouble.

“You’ve stopped in the colonies recently, I assume?”

“Yes,” Alex responded, reaching for the butter. “We were along the southern coast, but only had time for a short stay.”

“How are things over there? I hear some news, but it’s hard to tell what’s exaggeration. There’s so much sensationalism nowadays.”

“The situation is tense of course. The war has been going on for a good while now, as I’m sure you’re aware. England has loose control of the southern colonies from what we could tell, but it truly was a brief visit.”

“It’s a shame the fighting’s been going on so long. Bad for business.” From what Alex had told them, he wouldn’t be faring much better financially during peace times, but he nodded sympathetically anyway. “Hopefully things will be resolved soon. I’m sure it’s been hard during your travels, with all the restrictions at different ports and war ships in the waters.”

“Yes,” Lafayette chimed in. “But we manage of course. We cannot control the affairs of the world, only how we act within the scope of it.” He took a bite, leaning back in his chair. 

“Of course,” James replied idly, pushing his chair back from the table. “If you’re all almost ready, we should be on our way soon. I have a decent amount of business to attend to in town.” As John took one more piece of bread from the table, they got up, gathering their things and pulling on coats and hats. The boys all trying to hide their nerves as best they could as they set out for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey, porn. And anxiety.
> 
> Leave some comments pretty please, it's been a lonnnnnng day
> 
> Also leave some kudos if you're enjoying the story!
> 
> Next update coming at you on Friday! -insert Rebecca Black gif here-
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr at @ilovefoodandgirls -- your one stop shop for updates, questions (ask me shit please), and a bunch of other random stuff


	7. Chapter 7

The city was buzzing, frenetic. Busy, morning energy permeating the air and waking up the senses. People out and about at every turn, tending to errands, catching up with friends, doing business. James had a meeting planned with someone as soon as they got to town, but asked them to stick around to show him the way to their ship afterward. Promised he wouldn’t be too long. Lafayette deftly crafted some excuse about checking in with the crew, hoping to explain what was going on before James showed up. With the others gone, John put his hands in his pockets, looked at Alex expectantly. 

“So, what now?” 

He looked back at the building his father had gone into, curtains in the windows drawn against the outside world, then back at John. “We’ve got time to kill. I saw a coffee house a little ways up the street, if you’d prefer to wait there?” He tilted his head to the side as he waited for an answer, his hands clasped in front of him tightly, anxious energy still showing through even if it was less pronounced than earlier. 

John shrugged, then nodded as he came to a decision. They had nothing better to do, and it would be more comfortable than waiting on the street for who knows how long. He trailed a step behind Alex, the two of them walking in comfortable silence. After a few minutes, it struck him that Alex was almost never quiet this long. He glanced over trying to feel out the atmosphere. Could tell he was deep in reflection. Could practically see the thoughts racing through his mind in the subtle expressions of his face, visible in his eyes and the crease of his forehead. Could sense it in the way his movements were stiff and restrained. Then something in his face shifted. A distraction interrupting his own internal monologue as he focused in on a sign hanging up high on the closest building. “Ah, here we are.” 

Lafayette had hurried back to the ship, walking just slow enough to avoid suspicion. He scanned everything before him as he made his way on board, ensuring everything was as it should be, and feeling only slightly guilty about the relief that came over him at the prospect of being away from Alex’s father for the moment. He made his way to the quartermaster’s cabin, easily finding Walker seated at a small table as he read over some papers in front of him. “Someone is coming to the ship,” he announced, still out of breath. “We do not have a lot of time, but we must make sure any evidence of our activities is out of site and everyone is aware of the situation immediately. Understood?” 

“Who?” Walker asked, slightly bewildered. 

Lafayette held back a sigh. He had feared the whole way over that this conversation wouldn’t go very well. “Alexander’s father, James Hamilton.”

“What?” He blinked a few times, processing the information. “Hamilton’s father is _here_?” 

“Yes. He lives on this island, and he will be on the ship shortly. We are asking him to endorse us financially, and he has asked to see the ship. In the moment, we could not think of a good excuse to refuse the request.” He gestured incomprehensibly with his hands as he talked, his nerves too high to remain still. 

Walker eyed him wearily. “This seems like a bad idea. You of all people know we don’t make a habit of allowing strangers to inspect the ship. It’s dangerous.”

“Well then we will not make a habit of it, will we?” he snapped back, staring him down and pushing any hesitation he harbored to the back of his mind. 

Walker allowed himself a few minutes, thinking everything over, then sighed in resignation. “They’re not going to like this. And I’m not going to pretend like I’m in agreement with the decision here if they ask.”

Lafayette felt shame and guilt both fighting to be the prominent emotion in his heart. At the moment, frustration was winning out over both though, and his tone betrayed that fact. “Just do what you must, Walker. We have no choice now, so all we can do is prepare, and we are wasting valuable time talking it over.”

“Right.” He turned on his heel, heading for the door, but he froze with one hand on the knob. “By the way, where are Hamilton and Laurens?”

“They are still in town. James asked for someone to escort him to the ship.”

“You couldn’t have at least brought Laurens with you to help with preparations?”

“Sorry, it did not cross my mind.” He wasn’t going to tell Walker the true reason he left John back in town. How he knew Alexander well enough to know that, left alone, he would almost positively do something stupid or destructive or reckless. Couldn’t explain that he could tell how on edge he was, just by his silences and body language, and that leaving him by himself when he was in such a state was never a good idea. Couldn’t tell him that leaving Alexander alone with his father when all of his own emotions about his childhood were resurfacing was probably the dumbest thing he could do. Even more stupid than inviting James Hamilton back to their ship to stick his nose in their business. He figured this was one of those instances where lying held more value than the truth. As he followed Walker onto the deck to gather everyone, he couldn’t keep his mind from straying, worrying about Alexander. He hoped John was up to the task of keeping watch over his heart. Hated himself more than he wanted to admit for not being there as well. 

The coffee house was already bustling with energy. People gathered around tables making deals, selling things, catching up. Music playing from one corner, the act itself obscured by other customers. The smells of freshly cooked food and hot drinks mixed with the boom of various conversations all trying to be heard over one another. John was still taking in their surroundings when Alex leaned over and said, “I’ll go get drinks. Can you reserve that booth in the corner for us?”

John followed his line of site, eyes falling on the seats set back a bit from the main commotion of the room. “Of course.” Gave Alex a small smile before heading over, sitting down and enjoying the rest for his sore feet after the long walk they had had that morning. Before all of this, before he had agreed to a life of piracy with Alex and Lafayette, a full morning of walking would have been nothing to him. He had been used to much more strenuous activity from his time in the army. But after spending so many months on the ship, with much more leisure time, he found his body growing sore with less strain. As he shifted uncomfortably in his seat he made a mental note to find ways to stay fit when they were back at sea.

Alex sat down across from him, pushing one cup in his direction, the sharp scent of coffee beans nearly overwhelming. John took a small sip, careful not to burn his tongue. Maybe it was the fact that he had been at sea with little to no flavorful food for too long, but he swore this coffee tasted better, fresher, than he remembered it tasting in the past. “It’s packed in here,” he said, scanning the room and setting the cup back down. 

Alex looked up idly from his own drink. “We’re at a trading port,” he responded matter-of-factly. “Of course it’s packed.” He took another long sip, having already drained practically half. 

“You should slow down with that.” He said, motioning towards his cup. “We’re going to be here for a little while, right?”

“Oh,” he looked down, just realizing. “Shit. Yeah.” More silence. Unfamiliar and starkly uncomfortable.

John looked down at his own hands, trying to figure out how to break Alex out of whatever weird trance he was stuck in. “So, did your father mention who it is he’s meeting with now?”

“No, I have no idea. He didn’t mention any specifics. I would assume a potential business deal.” He paused to take a smaller sip of his coffee, more aware of the action than he had been before. “Or it has something to do with a debt. Either one is likely, I suppose.”

John chewed his lip before speaking, worried he was getting into dangerous territory. “He seemed to be doing alright financially. Maybe his luck has turned around.”

Alex snorted and rolled his eyes. Shook his head in a sort of dry amusement as he spoke. “It has nothing to do with luck.” His voice was bitter, but there were tones of sadness underneath it as well, barely detectable, but there. “It’s work ethic. He’s never been willing to put the time and effort in to make his life successful. That’s not something that just changes overnight. Luck though? He has some nerve talking about luck. Don’t think I didn’t pick up on that specific terminology back at the house. If you want to compare circumstances, well, there _is_ no comparison. Maybe he was never going to get an inheritance, but his father was a lord. His life would have been fine if he had seized the opportunities presented to him, but he never did. He expected things to just turn out okay without actually doing anything to make that happen. I, on the other hand, had to make my own opportunities. If his life didn’t turn out the way he wanted, it’s not circumstances that are to blame.” He took a deep breath before continuing, and John’s head spun as he tried to keep up with all of the new information. When he continued, his tone turned haughtier. “As far as his debts, I have no doubt that he maintains them. I’ve sent him money several times over the last couple of years to keep him out of trouble and help him remain comfortable. Against my better judgement, perhaps. Don’t let him fool you, he hides his faults well and has a way of scraping by off of the charity and manipulation of others. To tell you the truth, I feel pity for him. I don’t think he ever recovered from what he considered unjust circumstances. But by no means does that excuse his own shortcomings. To blame his faults on luck is a disservice to people everywhere who work hard for what they’ve earned despite their circumstances.” 

As Alex sat back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest and his brow furrowed, John couldn’t help but notice that the last line of his rant was autobiographical. Wondered if that was an intentional decision or just something that slipped into his stream of consciousness. He let out a deep breath, unsure where to begin. At least he was talking now. That was something. “So that’s why you’re upset with him then? Because he wasn’t willing to work to make a good life for himself?”

“I’m not upset,” he retorted stubbornly. “I just wish-” He cut himself off with a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know, John. I don’t like being back here. It reminds me of a lot of unpleasant things that I’d rather forget.”

John nodded mutely. Hoping that the gesture at least gave the appearance of a sliver of understanding. He could relate to that specific feeling at the very least. Wanting to leave parts of his previous life in the past and never let them resurface. Each time you were forced to remember like a burn to your chest. 

“I just want to leave here as soon as possible. This place is sucking the life out of me.” He paused, slouching over the table. After a moment he spoke again, quieter. It almost sounded like a confession. “I really don’t hate him, you know. I don’t. In spite of everything. But I also don’t want to be anything like him.” He stared into the drink below him, eyes unfocused.

John could relate to some of that as well. He let the statement sit in the air between them, a shared sentiment and motivation. After letting the thought sink in for several silent minutes, John looked back up across the table. “Alex, would you ever go back to Nevis?” He thought back on his own recent return to Charleston. The conflicted feelings he held about the place he once called home. The unresolved sense of loss. But still, he wanted to return someday. To see everything one last time. To make his peace with it all once he was in a more comfortable place in his own life. 

Alex paled at the thought, shivered. “Never,” he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow Alex is actually opening up about his feelings! Enjoy it while you can because it doesn't happen very often!!!
> 
> Leave some comments please I need them to help me recover from whatever the hell this week has been. Tell me how you think visiting the ship with Alex's dad is gonna go! 
> 
> Also leave some kudos if you haven't yet!
> 
> Next update coming at you on Sunday! (yay weekend)
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr at @ilovefoodandgirls -- your one stop shop for updates, questions (truly ask me whatever, message me about shit, i love talking to people), and a bunch of other random stuff


	8. Chapter 8

Lafayette had prepared everyone well, and when James Hamilton stepped onto the ship no one gave him a second glance, the crew all busy with their own tasks. Nothing seemed out of place. By all standards, it looked to be a typical trading operation. Yet still John couldn’t help the sinking feeling that James would notice the farce. As his eyes swept over everything, taking it all in, Alex and John both held their breaths, not daring to make any noise until he finally spoke. “This is a nice ship you have. Large. Well taken care of, clearly.”

“Thank you,” Alex said, clearing his throat when his voice came out rough. “Lafayette acquired it from his family. We were very fortunate in that regard. It’s a beautiful ship, perfect really. She’s lasted us so many years without a scratch, I’m surprised that storm was finally able to cause some damage. Once she’s patched up, she should serve us well for a long time.” He had gone from silence to rambling, and John was unsure if it was nerves or a conscious choice to try and distract his father. “I’m honestly shocked we’ve never had a problem until now. With all the opportunities we’ve seen for damage to the ship-”

“What opportunities for damage?” 

John felt his heart stop for a minute, but Alex just waved him off. “Oh, you know, the usual sort of things. Bad weather, normal wear from being at sea so long. And then there’s all of the navies patrolling because of the war. Pirates. We don’t make a habit of engaging with other ships of course, but some things are out of our control. Nothing we couldn’t handle though, isn’t that right John?”

He wanted to punch Alex for dragging him unnecessarily into the conversation. He didn’t have the same natural talent for spinning up lies spur of the moment, but he forced a smile, nodding in agreement. “Absolutely. We’ve always managed any misfortunes well.”

“When did you join this operation, John? I don’t recall Alexander mentioning you in his previous letters.”

He felt his throat go dry and swallowed before responding, hoping his voice came out as casual as he intended. “Oh, um, a bit over a year ago at this point, I believe?”

A brief flicker of concern on Alex’s face, but he recovered quickly enough. “Longer than that, I’m sure. It can be so hard to keep track of time while traveling.” He flashed a smile before turning his head to the other end of the deck. “Why don’t we show you around a bit, father?”

James seemed distracted, but nodded at the suggestion, following as Alex led them across the deck. As they made their way over, Lafayette was emerging from the quartermaster’s cabin with Walker, and Alex waved them both over. Lafayette gave a wide, familiar smile and waved back as they made their way towards them. “Ah, James, it is so nice to see you again. Sorry I could not accompany you on the walk as well, I had urgent matters to attend to, but my time is free now.”

“Not a problem at all. Good to see you, again.”

Walker was still standing to the side of Lafayette, looking expectant and only a little uncomfortable, and Alex stepped forward to better introduce him. “Father, this is Benjamin Walker. Walker, this is my father, James Hamilton.”

“Nice to meet you, sir.” He held out a hand for James to shake. 

“Pleasure to meet you as well, Walker.” 

“Walker was informing me just now,” Lafayette said, turning to Alex and John. “That they have been able to remove most of the damaged goods from the hold and make things suitable for repair work.” The subtle way of informing them that they could bring James down below without fear of anything suspicious peaking his interest didn’t go unnoticed. 

“Yes,” Walker added with a glance at the three of them. “Things have been progressing smoothly in your absence, that’s true.” His voice had an undertone of bitterness to it, and John had to physically stop himself from cringing with guilt at the whole situation. Wished he had been quicker to come up with excuses to keep James away from the ship. To keep the rest of the crew out of this mess. Was still shocked that Alex, with his own penchant for persuasion and charming ability to talk people in circles until he crafted some way out of his problems, had been unable to stop this chain of events. 

“Thank you for your help, Walker,” Lafayette said with a nod of his head. “If you have other matters to attend to, we will not keep you from them.” Clearly fearing Walker’s frustration with their predicament would show through and raise suspicion, it was a subtle dismissal. He took the out easily and excused himself, heading back below deck. 

“It’s good to hear that things are progressing after all the damage,” James said lightly. 

“Yes,” Alex agreed, still a little stiff. “It really is. I hope you conveyed to the rest of the crew how much we wished we could have been here to help.” He leveled his gaze at Lafayette, sensing there were tensions brewing, barely under control. 

Lafayette swallowed, gave a short nod. “Of course.” 

“Shall we take a look below at the damage? I would like to see it for myself.” James waited patiently for an answer, either unaware of the strain between them or intentionally ignoring it. 

Alex glanced between them before letting out a barely audible sigh. “Follow me.” The three of them trailed behind, descended levels of the ship until they reached the hold, dark and distinctly damp, the leak in the wall of the ship hastily patched up for the time being. The water had been drained from the floor, but signs of the flooding were still left behind. Water damage along the floorboards and the sides of the walls. The hold itself eerily empty with all of the flood-damaged goods disposed. 

Alex’s father stepped closer to the wall, inspecting the area of the leak up close. While he was distracted with that, Alex turned to Lafayette, spoke to him in a hushed but harsh tone. “Did you not explain everything to the crew properly? The reasoning behind all this? Why is Walker so worked up?” 

Lafayette kept his gaze ahead as he spoke, keeping an eye on James and doing his best to keep his voice just above a whisper. “I explained as much as I could given the rush. There was not a lot of time for talking given everything else that needed to be done, Alexander.”

“Can you not talk and work at the same time?” His words came out clipped. 

“Maybe you should have come back here and done this yourself.”

“I would have if I’d known you couldn’t handle it.”

John watched as the two of them went back and forth with apprehension, then glanced back to James, still a little ways away, but seeming to be wrapping up his inspection. He shoved Alex’s arm to get his attention without drawing too much suspicion, his glare only briefly fixing on John before he followed his line of sight to notice his father, already heading back towards them. 

“Well,” he said, finally stopping a couple of feet from them. “I can see why you need money for repairs and supplies. It sure seems like that storm did a number on your ship. I have a meeting with a local merchant this evening, back closer to my house. I’ll speak with him about the loan. See if there’s anything he can do to help.” 

“That would be very much appreciated,” Lafayette said, giving a grateful, if a bit forced, smile. 

“Yes,” John added. “It’s very appreciated. Thank you for your help.” 

“It’s my pleasure.” 

John imagined Alex was biting his tongue after that last response, but he hid it well. “Do you need to be heading back now? We don’t want to keep you from other responsibilities.”

He waved him off with a generous smile. “I have plenty of time. After all, a visit from my son is all but unheard of.”

The strain in Alex’s expression was noticeable now. He hoped James chalked it up to guilt. “Of course, we’d love to spend as much of the day with you as you can spare. If you’d just excuse myself and Lafayette for a brief moment. There’s a quick matter we need to discuss, but the documents I need to reference are in my quarters,” he lied apologetically. “We shouldn’t be long.”

John turned to Alex, hoping James couldn’t see the frantic look he gave him. He was sure the words he was thinking were written across his face. Something along the lines of, ‘What the hell? Don’t abandon me here with him. He’s _your_ father!’ All he got in response was a sympathetic look. 

“That’s quite alright.”

“You don’t mind keeping my father company while we talk, do you John?” 

In other circumstances he would curse Alex out for the useless afterthought of asking his permission after he had basically already granted it. However, this instance clearly required more discretion. “I’d be delighted.” He kept his tone pleasant, but his glare was at odds with the response. His back was to James at this point, only Alex and Lafayette able to see his face. 

“We should be returning in a few moments,” Lafayette said, looking to Alex for unspoken agreement. “Please excuse our absence.” With that the two of them headed across the hold and up the stairs, likely to the captain’s quarters for a not so level-headed discussion. 

A few beats of uncomfortable silence passed between himself and Alex’s father. Finally, James turned to him with a questioning gaze. “So, John, how did you come to work with Alexander? What brought you to this business?” He felt his heart race at the question, the pressure to lie, and lie well, weighing on him more heavily now that there was no one else around for backup. 

He cleared his throat, partially because it had gone dry and partially to buy a few more seconds. “We met when Alexander and Lafayette were doing business in the colonies. They had conducted a sale with my family, and after speaking for a short while and learning more of their business I asked if they were looking for partners.”

“What part of the colonies is your family from?”

“South Carolina.” It was an automatic answer, and it only struck him after the fact that he should have lied. 

“I hear it’s nice there. Never been, but I’ve heard good things.”

“It is.” John didn’t offer any elaboration, worried he’d be digging his own grave even deeper. Unfortunately this led to another awkward pause in the conversation, and he began to worry it was just a further opportunity to dwell on the information. “So, um, were you from this area originally?”

He raised his eyebrows in surprise at the question. “Did Alexander not mention? My family is from Scotland. I lived there as a child until I moved to the West Indies to pursue my own business plans.”

“Oh. No, I don’t think he ever mentioned that specifically.” John paused to think, but couldn’t recall it coming up. “But it makes sense based on what he has told me.”

“Yes, I moved to the islands a long while ago now. I’ve considered going other places, but I never followed through on the thought. I’ve moved within the area to different locations depending on where my prospects were best at the time, but never far.” 

In the resulting silence John thought he could very faintly hear raised voices. Luckily nothing that could be made out from this far away. Feeling his own nerves creep through his veins, he wondered how long they’d be. Prayed they’d come walking back down the stairs any minute. 

“Have you gone back home since leaving?” 

The question threw him off guard, cutting into his own line of thought. “Um, no. I haven’t been back.”

HIs brow furrowed at that. “Weren’t you all recently in South Carolina? Before heading this way?” 

John felt his breath stop in his chest. Had they told him they were in Charleston? He didn’t recall mentioning a specific port when they talked about stopping in the colonies, but maybe Alex had said something when they were alone? He weighed his options quickly, trying to decide the best way to maneuver the conversation. “We were. It was a very brief stop though. Unfortunately there was no time to visit my family home.” 

“That’s unfortunate,” he said sympathetically. “I’m sure your mother and father were disappointed to hear it.”

“Just father,” he corrected, again an automatic response which he noted in his mind with vague irritation. “And, um, yes, he was very disappointed, but it couldn’t be avoided.”

“Too bad,” he reiterated. “But I’m sure you’ll be back soon enough. The colonies are a very useful location for trade after all.”

They continued making small talk, John’s own anxious energy easing only slightly as they headed into easier topics. Eventually Alex and Lafayette rejoined them, neither looking particularly pleased, but at least they weren’t arguing anymore. After a short while they moved back up on deck, the fresh salt-tinged air making the interaction feel less suffocating. John let Alex and Lafayette take over most of the remaining topics of conversation, more than content to listen. To avoid putting his foot in his mouth yet again. Finally, James announced that he had to head back home to get ready for his engagement later that evening. When they parted with him at the dock, all three of them sighed with relief, able to breathe easier for the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I woke up at 2:30 in the morning which means I am basically dead to the world right now, but at least I was able to finish the editing for this chapter super early
> 
> I love comments and all the people who leave them <3 Please tell me your thoughts!
> 
> Also leave some kudos if you haven't yet!
> 
> Next update coming at you on Tuesday!
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr at @ilovefoodandgirls -- your one stop shop for updates, questions (talk to meeeee), and a bunch of other random stuff


	9. Chapter 9

The moment Alex’s father was gone, the tension between him and Lafayette increased tenfold. Alex complaining about having to perform damage control among the crew, though not actually doing anything to help that situation. Lafayette arguing back that he did the best he could given the circumstances, though also not actually discussing the issue with the crew. Both of them more wrapped up in their own argument about the problem than in forming any sort of solution. After a couple of hours of this, John felt a pain growing behind his temples, a subtle throbbing that wouldn’t go away. He tried going into the office to read, but he could hear them through the walls. Tried going up on the deck, but eventually they moved above deck as well. Much as he wanted to help settle the argument, not necessarily for their sake, but for his own and the rest of the crew’s benefit, every time he tried to interject the argument quickly got away from him, back to the two of them snapping back and forth, all fire and no substance. 

As the sun started to set, they were still keeping on, John sitting against the bulwark with knees tucked up to his chest. His eyes closed as he listened to harsh words flung at one another from a few feet away. His headache was only getting worse at this point, and he figured a walk might do him some good. He sighed, pushing himself up to his feet. Was surprised when both Alex and Lafayette paused their fight to look over at him. He checked his coat pocket, relieved to find he still had some coins loose at the bottom, and turned in the direction of the gangplank.

“Where are you going…?” Alex’s voice from behind him. Not sharp like before, just curious and concerned.

“I need to clear my head.” He brought one hand up to rub at his temple. “Figured I might go to the tavern as well. Just to get off the ship for a little while.”

“Do you want us to come with you?” Lafayette this time.

“Absolutely not.”

He didn’t need to turn around to fill in the gaps of what was happening in the silence. Sure that Alex and Lafayette were looking at one another, trying to work out how to respond. 

“Do you want _one_ of us to go with you at least? It might not be safe to go out alone.”

“I’m a grown man, Alex. I can handle going to a tavern on my own.” He rolled his eyes, though no one else saw. 

“This isn’t South Carolina, John.” His voice was soft. Not goading like it might have been under different circumstances, but concerned. “It’s not what you’re used to from the colonies. The people traveling through these island ports can be somewhat...” He paused, apparently having a hard time deciding on an adjective. “Rough? They’re not the type of people you want to get mixed up with.”

“Really? They’re rough?” He kept his back turned, but his voice was edging on hysterical at this point. “I spend all my days with pirates. I was in the army. I’ll take my chances if it means getting away from the two of you and your bickering.” He felt flush rising to his face as he spoke, the annoyance and frustration bubbling over into true anger. “By the way, you sound like a goddamn hypocrite. You’re really in no position to judge other people for how _rough_ they seem.” 

“Mon chéri, it is not that we think you cannot take care of yourself. It would be a bad idea for any of us to go out alone. If anything were to happen–”

“Whatever. I’m going. I need time to think. It’s not even dark out for goodness sake.” He headed down the gangplank, onto the pier, and into town, forcing himself not to look back to see their reactions. As much as he loved them both, always being with one another, living in such close quarters, never getting even a few days to take a break, could all quickly become too much. At no point more than times like now, with Alex and Lafayette arguing and proving miserable company. He huffed out a breath as he made his way up the street, the warm, salty air contrasting nicely with the breeze from the ocean. He wanted to stay here, just drink it all in, the feeling of being alone for a short while, even in public, intensely satisfying. He slowed his pace, letting the walk up the street take just a little longer. When he passed the closest tavern to their ship, he decided to extend his journey, remembering there was another a little ways away. Took in the clouds above him as he went, golden and glowing as the sun inched lower in the sky, lush green of the trees contrasting a silhouette against them. He tended to forget how many trees there were on land. When they were out at sea, there was nothing but sky and clouds all around them, endless until they disappeared beyond the horizon. 

He approached the second tavern sooner than he expected, the sound of laughter and boisterous conversation breaking him out of his trance. The walk had cleared his headache by a degree, making the noise level as he walked past the door less jarring than he expected. He performed a quick scan of the room, trying to find a suitable spot to seat himself. What he didn’t expect to find was James Hamilton, seated in the corner, leaning across the table in discussion with another man. It clicked in John’s mind that his meeting should have been around this time. It made no sense that he would be here of all places. Sensing something wasn’t quite right, he ordered his drink and placed himself at the corner of the bar closest to their table. Close enough to make out some of the words, but still a fair distance from them. Most importantly, James was facing the other direction, his back turned as John listened in. 

They were midconversation, not loud necessarily, but not hushed either. A few drinks almost certainly propelling their voices as they maintained a level that could be heard over the rest of the commotion going on around them. 

“Are you sure though?” the second man asked, his voice carrying across the distance to the bar. 

“To a point. All the evidence leads to that conclusion. I’m not going to lie and tell you I have irrefutable proof, but I think there’s enough there to take action. I’m sure a complete and thorough search would be enough.”

John felt his stomach drop at the words as he started to have a good idea of what their conversation was about, and it wasn’t a comforting thought. His mind flashed back to Alex’s initial apprehension about involving his father in their plan at all. With hindsight clouding his vision, he hated himself for not heeding his warning. Not agreeing and finding some other way to recover from their losses. On their own. Without depending on that spineless, good-for-nothing–

“The confrontation should be handled delicately. We don’t need a huge commotion out by the docks after all.”

“I can arrange something. They won’t be leaving until they come into some money. I’ll have them meet me at my residence, and we’ll have them taken into custody there. That will make it easier to apprehend the rest of them on the ship and get any evidence we need. You can arrange for a team for the ship, right?”

“Yes. We’ll set something up with the authorities.”

John had to force the mouthful of ale down his throat, finding it hard to swallow. Hard to breathe. A combination of shock and rage rising up from his chest like bile. 

“And my reward is secure?”

“Once we have confirmation of the crimes, you’ll get the money immediately.”

He watched as James nodded, finishing off his drink. The two of them exchanged a few more words, nothing important, then headed to the door. When they were finally gone, he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to scream or punch someone or drop to the floor and let it swallow him whole. The anger was ringing in his ears, and the entire room was a blur as he tried to reason out what to do next. 

It took a couple of seconds before he realized the owner of the tavern was speaking to him from behind the bar. He blinked a few times, clearing his head. “Sorry, what?” 

“I said, did you want another drink?” John glanced down at his empty cup, unsure when he finished it. 

“No,” he answered, his mind still half focused on everything else. When the man gave him a look, he realized how abrupt that sounded. “Thank you,” he quickly added. “But I need to be going.” He threw down a few coins on the counter and pushed his chair back, wishing the man a good night before heading for the door, sure that enough time had passed that he wouldn’t run into Alex’s father on his way back to the ship. 

The sun had fallen low in the sky, just barely peeking above the horizon and casting a dim layer of light over the city. The clouds above fading from golden-orange to shades of pink and purple, and deepening to a dark blue as they reached higher in the sky, a sign of the night that was fast approaching. There was a part of him that wanted to sprint back to the ship, tell Alex and Lafayette the news as quickly as possible. A stronger urge held him back though. He needed to take his time with this. To take the walk back and think as he worked out the best way to let them know. Needed to make sure the information wouldn’t further push tensions between everyone on board over the edge. Wanted to know Alex wouldn’t immediately fly off the handle and hunt his father down with a pistol. Knew he had to be smart about this, but wasn’t sure exactly how to do that. Especially with his own anger still pulsing through his blood, making his heart race. In a different time, a different place, he wouldn’t have been this cautious. Would have jumped up from his spot at the bar as soon as he heard the words out of James Hamilton’s mouth. Would have dragged him outside and faced him on his own. Made him regret his own traitorous actions. 

His time with Alex and Lafayette had taught him how to be cautious though. He had learned that his own missteps not only affected him, but affected all of them. His loyalty to both of them, to the whole crew, forced him to tamp down his impulsive rage, but it didn’t stop the itch for revenge, the buzzing in his fingertips to stop thinking and just do. He balled his fists at his side, squeezing tight, trying to channel that energy into something other than the ever-present beating in his chest that kept growing louder. Every step a crescendo in his ears. When he finally made it to the pier his breathing still wasn’t quite right. The sound of his own heart was too strong, his pulse throbbing uncomfortably throughout his body. He knew his face must be flushed, the combination of outrage and early summer heat feverish under his skin, making him sweat uncomfortably in his clothes. The walk up the gangplank seemed longer than usual, but also, strangely, too short. As if his whole world existed outside the bounds of time itself in this moment. He took a deep breath before stepping over onto the deck, feeling his heart break as he saw Alex and Lafayette waiting for him. Knowing this conversation wouldn’t be easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh nooooooo :( 
> 
> Please leave a comment with your thoughts! Good, bad, whatever. I want to know how you're feeling after this chapter! 
> 
> Also leave some kudos if you haven't yet!
> 
> Next update coming at you on Thursday! (my brain doesn't even know what day it is, that was hard to figure out tbh)
> 
> Come bother me on Tumblr at @ilovefoodandgirls :)


	10. Chapter 10

Before John could drag them down to the captain’s quarters to get everything out in the open, Lafayette and Alex cornered him on the deck, both bearing apologetic expressions. He braced himself, but wasn’t able to get out two words when Alex cut in, speaking quickly, guilt and relief mixed uneasily in his tone. “John.” The way he said his name, like the culmination of a whole night of apprehension finally coming to a close, had him momentarily forgetting what he needed to say. “We’re sorry. Both of us. I know we were acting like selfish idiots. God, everything is so stressful right now, and I know that’s not an excuse, but we’re just glad you’re here and you’re safe. That you came back.” He swallowed quickly, trying to hide the way his voice cracked just a little. “We talked to the crew while you were gone. Tried to smooth things over and explain why we’re doing what we’re doing. That we wouldn’t take risks having outsiders on the ship if it weren’t essential.” John felt his stomach clench at that, knowing all too well that the risks were more apparent than any of them realized. “They’re not all pleased with it, but I think it’s enough for now. And once we have the money and get the hell out of here I’m sure they’ll be more understanding. I’m sorry we let our own fighting get in the way of everything else. Truly.” He chewed at his lower lip nervously as he ran out of things to say. Glanced at Lafayette, allowing the opportunity for him to add anything else, but he had been content to let Alex say everything that needed to be said, knowing just how much he needed to speak sometimes. 

“We are both very sorry,” he agreed, his face serious, but a soft smile lingering on his lips. “I can guarantee you, things will be better now.” 

They looked at him for a response, but John’s mouth had gone dry, the words stuck. The last sentence Lafayette spoke ringing in his ears. Between everything, the strongest emotion he could pinpoint, waging for the right to win out over all the others, was frustration. They had no _time_ for heartfelt apologies and sentiments right now. He knew it would be best, most considerate, to respond in kind. But he _couldn’t_. As he stood there, glued to the spot, everything came rushing back over him. The conversation he overheard in the tavern. The consequences they would all be facing if they didn’t act. Their situation was far too dire for everyone to be expressing their feelings. To hug and make up and spend hours just feeling better about everything. Lafayette and Alex both spoke of things turning around, improving, but they had no idea what was coming. The complications with their plans, about to unravel. It was only the calm before the storm.

“John?” Alex’s voice was uncharacteristically small, nervous. “Say something?”

He cleared his throat, unsure where to start but knowing it couldn’t be said in the open, up here on the deck where anyone could hear. “Thank you. For the apology.” The words came out stiff, and he let out a harsh breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “Can we go talk in private, please?” At the worried look Alex and Lafayette gave one another, he hurriedly added, “It’s nothing to do with your fighting. I needed a breath of fresh air, that’s all. You can’t scare me off that easily.” It was a poor attempt at a joke, but their expressions eased nonetheless, and he felt the constriction in his chest loosen a little bit. “I just have… unrelated matters I need to discuss with you both. Urgently.” He tried to impress upon them the importance without being so obvious that he might draw the concern of anyone else. The rest of the crew would have to be made aware eventually, but not now. Not like this. 

Lafayette spoke up this time, seeming to grasp if not the exact enormity of the situation, at least the time sensitive nature of the request. “Of course. Will our quarters be sufficient?”

John only nodded in response, not waiting another second before heading down, the other two following him to their room, and Lafayette securely latching the door behind them. There the three of them stood, expressions stoic, sensing a shift in weight of the mood between them without any information being spoken aloud. John tried to gather his thoughts, still unsure how to best go about this. After several moments Alex grew impatient. Never one for being still, waiting like this never had a pleasant effect on him. He finally spoke up, near ready to jump out of his own skin judging by the tone of his voice. “John, would you tell us what this is about already?”

He took one last deep breath before diving in. “I went to the tavern, not the one right down the street, but another one a little farther away.”

“I don’t see how your choice in tavern-”

“Alexander, be quiet for once and let him speak.”

John rolled his eyes, the motion itself easing the tension inside of him the tiniest fraction, and resumed. “Anyway, at this other tavern, I saw your father meeting with someone.” Alex opened his mouth to ask the obvious questions, but caught himself, reluctantly closing it and letting John continue. “I decided to stay. To sit and listen, since he obviously wasn’t supposed to be in town still, and I had a bad feeling about his intentions.” 

“That was extremely reckless,” Lafayette said, disapproval evident on his face.

“Okay, if I’m not allowed to interrupt neither are you.”

“Would you both shut up and let me finish?” Exasperation was clawing at him, and he felt absurdly like he was a parent trying to keep the peace between two siblings. “And Lafayette, this is hardly risky compared to millions of things I’ve done in the past, so spare me. We all break laws every time we steal or harm or deceive someone to keep our operation going. Are you really implying discretely spying on someone is worse than that as far as level of risk is concerned?” He shook his head, realizing he was getting away from himself. Growing annoyed with the turns the conversation was taking, how nothing was going as he planned it, he lost any sense of choosing his words carefully and allowed them to fall from his lips in a thoughtless rush. “That's far from the point anyway. Long story short, Alex’s father is going to hand us over for a reward from the authorities. He has it all planned out and was going to detain us. He would have arranged to have us meet him out at his residence to finalize our deal, and while we were separated from the ship, he would have had people round up the rest of the crew and search our belongings for definitive proof of our crimes.” He could feel it was an awkward place to end his explanation, but didn’t know what else to say. Let the heavy silence hang over all of them. Like volcanic ash settling over the aftermath of an eruption.

They both turned towards Alex, knowing he had to be the next one to speak. Waiting for something. Anything. But he just stared past John to the wall behind him, his fists clenched tightly at his sides, the shallow breathing moving his chest rhythmically up and down the only movement indicating he was still alive. Normally Alex could process new information lightning quick, but for once, he seemed stuck. His brain trying to work through everything that had been said and what it meant and what effects it would have and how things might have been different if he had just _insisted_ they all listen to him in the first place. He slowly brought his hands up to cover his face, neck bowing down towards the floor and fingers massaging his forehead as he squeezed his eyes shut, heat gathering in his face, and he wasn’t sure if it was from guilt or anger or something else entirely. When he finally spoke it was to utter an eloquent, “Fuck.” Neither of the other two spoke, and after a few more moments of silence, thinking things over and over again, something in his body language shifted. He brought his hands down from his face, balling them into fists once again, walked a few steps to the desk, and slammed one hand down on the wood, shouting a much more emphatic, “Fuck!” He whipped around to face both of them again, his face red, betrayal feeding the frenzy of emotions inside of him. “I should have fucking known this would happen. Lazy, good-for-nothing piece of shit can’t even spare his own son if it makes things harder for him. Fuck! I knew that already, I knew _who he was_ , and I still let this happen.” He slammed his fist again and the force of it jolted the desk beneath him, knocking an inkwell to the ground where it shattered and spilled, dark liquid pooling on the floorboards. “Why the hell did I let this happen? I should have been more insistent with you two. I knew it was a bad idea. Goddammit! I wanted so badly to believe he would actually want to help me that–” He cut himself off with a frustrated noise, not able to finish the rest of that thought and running a hand back through his hair instead. “Even after the things I’ve done for him he still fucking stabbed me in the back.” He brought the hand back up to his face again, rubbing at the stubble on his cheek. “Fuck!” 

Lafayette stepped forward, not all the way to where Alex was standing, but close enough to speak softer and still be sure he’d be heard. “Alexander, this is not your fault. I pushed for you to agree. And we all knew there would be risks inherent with this plan.” He hesitated, stepping forward just a bit, but stopping as Alex flinched away from the movement. “You had no way of knowing this would happen. That he would try to ruin us like this. You have not seen him since you were a child, for goodness sake. We did not expect you to be completely versed in his character.”

His face was hard when he looked up at Lafayette, eyes locking with his as anger and guilt coursing through his blood. “I _did_ know his character though. That’s the point! I was second guessing myself, thinking things might have changed, or my memories might be distorted after all that time, or that I was only seeing things through the viewpoint of a child. But I knew all along that he’d do whatever he needed to protect himself, everyone else be damned.” 

“Alex,” John started, uncertainty creeping back into his voice, hating himself for doing this so _poorly_. “I’m sorry. I know this is a lot to take in, and Lafayette is right, it’s not your fault, no matter what you might think right now. We were desperate for any plan, and we were forced into this one. Hell, it’s probably my fault more than anyone else considering the couple of times I slipped up in conversation with him.” He didn’t mention that one of those times was only because they left him alone to go off and argue. Figured that addition wouldn’t be productive. “But pity isn’t going to get us out of this. You know that.” He felt like he was pleading as he said it, and maybe he was. Willing to beg if it meant he could save him from being so broken. “Alex, you’re stronger than this. You’ve known all your life that when things turn sour you can either let it consume you or get to work to make things better, and you’ve never been one to choose the former. Right now we need action. Not wallowing.” Alex looked shocked to be called out on it, one fist still resting on the desk as he stared at John. “I know you’re angry. You have every right to be. But we need to get ourselves out of this mess, and we don’t have a lot of time to waste on self pity.”

Alex’s face was harder to read than normal, but under the stony exterior it almost seemed like he was impressed. “Sometimes I forget how smart you are, John.” He said it with a straight face, but there was the shadow of a familiar teasing glint in his eye.

“You are such an ass.” He was glad for the change in tone though. A sign that things between them were getting back to their usual pace. If Alex was still heartbroken, at least he was distracting himself. Masking the pain with humor and his characteristic bite. Shielding his heart from his own destructive spiraling thoughts. 

He shrugged in response to John’s comment, a forced smile briefly gracing his face. “You’re right though, we do need to act quickly. We’re obviously not getting the money. That was clearly a farce.” There was a flash of hurt in his eyes, but it was gone as quick as it came.

“We’ll need to tell the crew,” Lafayette added with trepidation. Surely after everything that had played out thus far, that conversation would not go over well. 

Alex nodded, and when he spoke his words were still stiff, but starting to flow more easily. “Let’s plan our escape from this mess first, and then tell them. No need to drag them into it now and have them asking questions we don’t have the answers to.” 

John finally left his spot by the far wall, realizing that he hadn’t moved at all for the past half hour or so, his legs a bit stiff from being still. He came to stand by Alex at the desk so they could more easily converse, accidentally stepping in the puddle of ink as he moved. The stain looked almost like blood in the dim lighting. “Yeah, I agree, we should tell them after we have a plan. The biggest issue here is we still don’t have the money. And the ship is patched, but that won’t hold for too long out at sea. If we can fix those two problems we can get the hell out of here.”

“If we can get the money,” Lafayette started, pulling a chair away from the corner of the room to sit down. “Then we can make a short journey to another island nearby, where there is less risk to us, and properly fix the ship there.” The other two nodded, no one taking issue with what seemed like a sound enough plan. 

Focus settled thick in the room, all three of them willing some brilliant idea to fall into their laps. The waves coming in with the tide rocked the ship gently as they thought, a motion that at one point would have made John sick, but was now strangely comforting. 

“I have a plan,” Alex started hesitantly. “You’re not going to like it though.” He was looking more at Lafayette than John as he finished. 

“Please explain.”

“First off, I know it’s dangerous and reckless or whatever, so don’t start with that. We’re fucking pirates, and we were all soldiers in the war. We’re bound to do something dangerous once in a while, and that’s _fine_ because we’re equipped to handle it. You’re the captain of this ship. Don’t act so fucking spineless.” He said all of it while making direct eye contact with Lafayette, daring him to challenge the truth of his words. When he remained silent, Alex continued. “Now that’s out of the way, the plan is simple enough. My father planned to betray us? Fine, we’ll take the money we need from him directly. We catch him off guard alone at his house, get him into a position where he can’t fight back or call for help, and we take what we need. Take what I’m owed rather. I had previously been operating under the assumption that I was giving money to a father in need rather than to a traitor who wanted to forget my charity the moment it suited him. I certainly have no qualms stealing from his house, and I think it’s our best course of action at this point. Trying to steal more discreetly from the main part of town would just draw an abundance of suspicion and take too much time.”

“You said he’s in debt to many people. How can we be sure the funds will be sufficient?” John asked, leaning against the desk and watching as the promise of revenge sparked some fire back in Alex’s eyes. 

“He always makes sure he has enough money to remain comfortable before paying what he owes. It’s one of the many reasons he has failed to pay his debts down. We should find a decent amount stashed away somewhere, and we can always take small valuables to sell or trade if need be.”

“I do not love this plan, Alexander, but I see your points.” Lafayette sighed, resigned. “And I know you are both capable of pulling it off, I am not underestimating you. I think it has the potential to work, but we will have to be extremely cautious. Everything must be planned to perfection, and we must _all_ stick to that plan. Can you do that? Both of you?” 

Between the two of them, he did raise a valid concern. John had a tendency for going off script and throwing their plans to the wind. He was sure none of them would forget Charleston anytime soon. And then there was Alex, who was stubborn and prone to let his temper cloud his judgement on better days, let alone an unprecedented situation like this one. They both nodded, muttering half-hearted agreement. 

Not entirely reassured, Lafayette stared down at the both of them. “Act like this is the army and if you don’t execute the plan perfectly the British will cut you to pieces. Because I am sure whomever Alexander’s father turns us over to will not hold back on our sentences. This is still life or death, and I would rather we all come out of this alive, understood?” 

The crisp, commanding tone almost made John believe he was back in the army. The desire to snap to attention still instinctive even now, and he took his hand off the desk, standing up a little straighter, no longer resting his body weight on it. 

“Yes,” they both replied.

“Good. Then let us decide on how to break the news to everyone else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter brought to you by: communication 
> 
> Please leave a comment and tell me your thoughts! All of your thoughts! 
> 
> Also leave some kudos if you haven't yet!
> 
> Next update coming at you on Saturday! (ahhhhh yes the weekend again!!! can't go anywhere because covid but still)
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> Come bother me on Tumblr at @ilovefoodandgirls :) We can talk about Hamilton or writing or social injustices or something


	11. Chapter 11

It was the dead of night as they were finally walking down the street, made sparse by the hour, on their way back to the outskirts of town where James Hamilton lived. The moon was nearly full, but hidden behind a layer of dark grey clouds, only a dim, eerie glow penetrating through, providing them subtle cover as they made their way through the town. John was growing tired of wearing formal clothes, knowing the restrictive fabrics and impractical fit would hinder their movement if they needed to make a quick getaway. Was itching to resume their usual life and everything that came with it. But proper appearances were necessary in case they were stopped. He made a face as the shoes pinched his toes, just barely too small. Unfortunately, his own shoes from his previous life were at the bottom of the ocean or washed up on some shore by now, even the pair he had been wearing on the day of the attack gone after his dive into the water. This small, persistent inconvenience was enough to occupy his thoughts, trying and failing to walk in a way that wouldn’t irritate his feet. He longed for the comfort of his boots, his frustration only assuaged by the knowledge that after tonight they’d be back at sea. Before leaving the ship they had armed themselves with pistols and daggers, hoping they wouldn’t have to use them, but understanding the necessity of being prepared for any situation. John ran his hand along the handle of his own dagger, the wood solid and smooth under restless fingers. 

They didn’t speak more than a few words the entire trip. It would not do for anyone to take note of their presence on the streets this late at night. Even in the less densely populated part of the city, it was best to keep silent, to draw as little suspicion towards themselves as possible. John didn’t mind. It gave him a chance to focus. To get into the right headspace for this urgent, hurriedly conceived mission. The gravel crunched beneath their shoes as they walked, a soft, damning whisper not easily hidden by the peace that nightfall brought. 

When they arrived, the house was dark. Not a flicker of candlelight to be seen through the windows. Alex motioned for the two to stay at the end of the path leading to the front door while he slowly, silently, crept across the front yard. Rounding to the side of the building where he knew the window into his father’s bedroom was positioned. After checking to ensure he was indeed asleep, Alex returned to the front of the house. Urged the other two forward with an exaggerated hand gesture. 

He crouched in front of the entryway, fiddling at the crack between the door and doorframe with his dagger, the dark stone at the hilt just barely glinting in the dull moonlight as he worked, until finally the latch gave way and he pushed the door gently open, an unavoidable creak setting them all on edge. They each froze, not one breath escaping past parted lips, until they could be sure it had not awoken James. Slowly, Alex pushed himself up to his feet. Slipped in past the doorway with the others following closely after. John, bringing up the rear, hesitated, glancing back. 

Alex gave him a look as if to ask what was the matter, and he responded, his voice less than a whisper. “The door? Should we risk closing it?” Knowing almost for certain it would send another screech into the night. A possible condemnation. 

Alex looked apprehensive, but nodded, his voice at the same level when he leaned closer and spoke. “It would look too suspicious if anyone were to pass by.”

They held their breaths once again as John slowly, inch by torturous inch, set the door back in place. The creak of the hinges was slightly more subdued this time, and he had to hold in the sigh of relief that dared to push past his lips when it was clear once again that they hadn’t misstepped. 

The next part of the plan had been perfectly laid out in their quarters back on the ship. It was critical that each move be undertaken with the utmost caution, knowing any cry, any shout of alarm, could be the end of everything. Alex had insisted he be the one to do most of the work, and neither Lafayette nor John would deny him that wish.

Lafayette remained posted near the door, just in case anyone showed up or James tried to escape quickly, to run for help. John followed Alex as silently as possible into the bedroom, doing their utmost to stop the floorboards from shifting underneath as they walked. James slept soundly, not even a snore escaping his throat. Just complete stillness, the only signs of life the quiet sounds of his breath and the gentle rise and fall of his chest. As Alex crouched down next to the bed, he searched carefully through the bag they had brought with them. Gathered a few ropes in his arms and passed a handkerchief to John. He raised his eyebrows, a silent question. John nodded in response, not daring to even breath as he positioned himself near the head of the bed. Adrenaline pumped through his body, a restless buzz from his head to toes, his heart beating so loud he worried it would break the silence. 

Alex gave one sharp nod, the signal they had agreed upon earlier in the night. In perfect synchrony, he yanked his father’s hands behind his back, shifting his body in the process, while John shoved the balled up fabric in his hands past his lips, opened in half-asleep panic as he felt the rough handling, but unable to react quickly enough as he awoke. By the time he was aware of what was happening, his wrists were already bound with unyielding knots. A skill that had been perfected during some of their longer trips at sea. The handkerchief shoved far enough into his mouth that he couldn’t speak, couldn’t scream. Could only make unintelligible muffled noises. Nothing loud enough to summon help. Alex had already moved onto his legs by the time he was fully trying to fight back, struggling with the ropes as he kicked his feet in retaliation. John quickly jumped in to help, scrambling onto the bed and using his own body weight to pin legs in place while Alex worked. Positioned as he was, facedown on the mattress, James hadn’t been able to see his attackers yet. John wondered if he had guessed. If it had crossed his mind that he wasn’t being as crafty as he thought. If he could even imagine that the boys he intended to screw over would outsmart him. Make him regret his disloyalty. Alex finished tying off the last of the knots, the rope winding up from his ankles to higher up his legs, ensuring he could barely wiggle in place where he laid, nevermind move properly. 

“Pass me my dagger,” Alex said, far too casual, breaking the silence, finally sure there would be no consequence in speaking aloud. James must have recognized his voice. He twisted his neck, trying to see for himself. Was able to at least see John as he climbed back over the side of the bed, the blade of Alex’s dagger catching the moonlight, now properly shining in through the window with the clouds cleared away. 

Blade in hand, Alex rounded the bed, came to stand by his father’s head, looking down into startled eyes. He tried to say something, the noise coming from his throat anguished, seeming to be almost pleading. Alex gave a heartless laugh, crouching down and leaning in closer to hold eye contact. “Hello, father.” The words came out cold, calculated. “I would love to chat, but as I’m sure you can see, that’s not quite possible at the moment. After all, if I can’t even trust you to help me with a simple loan, how can I trust you to remain silent now? No, I think it’s best that you remain gagged while we fix all of these _problems_ you’ve made for us. Nod your head if you understand.” There was no reason for the last command. It didn’t really matter if he had understood. Wouldn’t make a difference to them. He said it simply because he could. To exercise that power over him while he had him bound, helpless, the threat of his dagger resting lightly against his face. Needed his father to know that he was entirely in control now. James nodded, desperation in the movement, clearly terrified for his own fate. “Good.” He spoke slowly now, every word clear and cutting. “Now, here’s the situation. Nothing you try to say or do is going to get you out of those ropes or that gag. You can’t scream, and if you try, you won’t like the consequences. You clearly have no concerns over whether _I_ live or die.” He stared him hard in the face, his lip curling back in a snarl. “Well, after knowing what you’ve done, I’ve decided that the sentiment is mutual. If you try to scream, I’ll hurt you. If you try to escape, impossible as that is, I’ll hurt you. If you do absolutely anything to try and get in our way, I’ll hurt you. And I don’t care if I get carried away and things escalate and you end up bleeding out on your bed, understood?” James swallowed, the action difficult with the cloth blocking his throat, and nodded again. “Good. Now stay there and be quiet, you piece of shit.” He gave a rough kick to his bound arms, causing him to muffle a groan of pain in the handkerchief as his limbs twisted unnaturally in the ropes. 

John stared from a few feet away as he straightened up, unsure if he was impressed or terrified with this version of Alex. Perhaps both. “Where should we start the search?” 

Alex looked back at his father on the bed, an idea clearly forming in his mind. “Actually, you can help without speaking, can’t you?” James looked confused, unsure whether to nod or not. “Let’s try that question again. You’re going to cooperate when I ask you questions, aren’t you?” He pulled his dagger back out, holding it inches from his face. This time James nodded, the gesture as emphatic as he could manage in his current position. 

John swallowed, unsure of this twist. It wasn’t part of the plan, and they had promised to stick exclusively to the plan. On the other hand, not trusting Alex’s instincts is what brought them to this predicament in the first place. He remained frozen to his spot, watching with anxious fascination as Alex thought through his next moves. “You have a stash of money hidden in the house, correct? Remember, if I find out you’re lying, this blade is going into your throat.” Even from a short distance, John could see his face pale as he nodded. “Good job. Knew you could cooperate with the right amount of persuasion. Keep it up and you might make it through the night with all of your fingers attached.” John’s stomach flipped, unable to tell if Alex was bluffing or not at this point, the betrayal clearly fueling his twisted anger into something dangerous. “I have an inclination that you would want to keep that money close to you. To keep it safe. My first instinct is that it would be here in your bedroom.” He hadn’t asked the question yet, just paused to watch his father’s reaction to the words. “That would be foolish though. And I think for all of your faults, you’re not foolish. Anyone’s first guess would be to search for money in your bedroom, and with all the debts you’ve accumulated, you don’t want your money somewhere where it can be easily seized, do you?” James took a minute to respond, still processing that the question had even been asked. Alex, apparently deciding the answer wasn’t coming fast enough, pressed the dagger to his upper arm, the blade drawing a small line of blood before he pulled it away. James jolted in his bonds, an animal-like noise coming from his throat as the pain set in. He quickly shook his head no, confirming Alex’s line of thought. “Respond more quickly next time. So, if it’s not in your bedroom, now we have to think, where _would_ you hide that much money? This would be easier if you could speak of course, but unfortunately we don’t have that luxury. It’d be far too careless to leave it somewhere where anyone could come across it. You don’t have visitors stay overnight often, do you, father?” James shook his head again, this time prepared to respond instantly. “Yes, that’s what I assumed. And obviously anyone who comes in for a meeting with you wouldn’t have reason to spend any time going through the spare bedroom. Tell me, is that where you put it? In some secret spot in the spare bedroom? The one we stayed in the other night?” James didn’t hesitate, but his nod was less enthusiastic. Regret etched in his expression as he admitted to the statement’s truth, knowing full well what would happen next. Alex smirked, sadistic joy in his eyes as he admired his own handiwork. 

He double checked the rope work and then strode to the door, turning back to call behind him. “John, let’s go. He’s not going anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
> 
> Please leave a comment and tell me what you think as we head into the good shit 
> 
> Also leave some kudos if you haven't yet!
> 
> Next update coming at you on Monday! (might be late-ish I have a busy day Monday)
> 
> Come bother me on Tumblr at @ilovefoodandgirls :) Message me or send me asks or whatever!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!!!


	12. Chapter 12

Now that they knew where to look, it didn’t take long to find the money. The two of them split up, moving furniture and going through drawers. Searching along the walls and ground until Alex spotted a loose floorboard, conveniently positioned underneath the bed in an attempt at keeping it hidden away from wandering eyes. He called John over, and they worked together to move the bed a foot to the left, giving them room to work as Alex pried open the hidden compartment with his dagger. Revealed a heavy bag filled with coins, jingling conspicuously as Alex picked it up. 

“Perfect,” John said, relieved to have _something_ go off without a hitch. “Let’s go tell Lafayette, and then we can get out of here.”

Alex didn’t respond. His brow was furrowed as he considered the weight of the coins, gently rocking the bag back and forth in his palms. “This isn’t all of it,” he said with absolute certainty. “Here, feel it.” 

He shoved the bag into his hands, waiting expectantly. John didn’t have the same intuitive sense for numbers and money that Alex had, and as he felt the weight on his fingers he couldn’t recall what a sum this large _should_ feel like. He was hesitant to offer a committal answer, but Alex only wanted agreeance anyway, so he handed the coins back with a shrug of one shoulder. “It does feel a little light.”

“A little?” he scoffed. “This can’t be even two thirds if my guess on the total sum is accurate.”

“Maybe he has less than you thought.”

“Not this much less,” he answered back sharply, frustration edging into his voice. “Look, I know what I’m talking about here. I’d bet my life on the fact that there is another bag hidden somewhere in this house.”

“The longer we stay here, the greater the risk someone discovers us. Even if that’s not his entire savings, it’s enough to feed us and get us back out to sea.”

“He owes me more than this, John!” Alex snapped back, pushing himself up to his feet roughly. “And I’m not leaving until I get it.” 

“You’re being short-sighted!” John ran his hands up through his hair, feeling the annoyance setting in. “The money won’t do you any good if you’re hung for your crimes.”

“We’re not going to get caught!" He nearly yelled, the words sharp as they cut through the space between them. "You can help me look or not, just don’t get in my way.” As he stormed back to the main bedroom, John looked after him helplessly, weighing his options. Things were definitely going off book at this point, and he could feel the cracks in their own plan starting to show through. Knew the risks were piling up the longer they stayed. A ticking time bomb. But Alex was stubborn as all hell, and he wasn’t going to leave him here alone. Knowing there was no other option, he followed, closing the door behind him and watching everything play out from a few feet away. Alex already had his fingers tangled in his father’s hair, pulling his head back so he was forced to look him in the eyes. Dagger in his other hand pressed to the soft skin at his neck. When he spoke, the threat was imminent in the low hiss of his voice. “Listen to me very carefully. I’m done playing games. I’m going to take off that gag, and you’re going to cooperate. If you scream, I’ll cut your throat so fast no one will have time to hear it.”

John felt his stomach clench, alarm bells going off in his head. “Alex!” He turned to look at him slowly, careful to keep his hold stable so the hand with the dagger didn't slip. “This is an extremely bad idea. Let’s just take the money and go.”

“If you want to go then go! I’m not stopping you.” He leveled John with a glare, the fire in his eyes frightening, even with his dagger pressed to another man’s throat. When it was clear John wasn’t leaving, he offered a few more words, something of an explanation. “He’s far too much of a coward to do anything stupid enough to get himself killed. Trust me on this.”

And for all his misgivings, John did trust him. Knew in his heart that Alex was right. That James would cooperate because the fear of death was enough to subdue a man like him. Someone so selfish and terrified for his own pathetic life that he'd do anything to save his own skin. Knew that Alex’s own reflexes were razor sharp, and that it was no exaggeration when he spoke on how quickly he could have the flesh under his blade sliced open, any scream for help forever silenced by his hand. 

And for all his harsh words about not needing John’s approval, he seemed to be waiting for it. Dagger still pressed lightly to skin, searching John’s face, impossibly seeking his permission before going forward. He couldn’t be entirely sure that Alex wouldn’t barrel ahead with his plan if he _did_ press his disapproval, but he was waiting for his opinion at the very least. And John never had to find out what he would do if he disagreed, because he took a deep breath and nodded, the exhale coming out shaky. “Go ahead then.” 

He dropped his father’s head down to the mattress as, with one fluid motion, he pulled the handkerchief from his mouth. The gasps and coughs coming from his throat as he recovered and adjusted to proper airflow weren’t exactly quiet, but there was no scream. Nothing loud enough to draw unwanted attention from neighbors. Alex regained the grip in his hair. Tugged viciously and glared down into watering eyes. “Where’s the rest of it?” 

He seemed to struggle with the words, tried to shake his head, but was painfully reminded by the pull to his scalp that he was trapped. “That’s all there is,” he managed to choke out.

Alex laid his dagger down just long enough to pull his arm back and slap James across the face. Hard. The sound of hand striking flesh resounding around the room as he grunted in pain and surprise. “I said not to lie to me, you pathetic excuse for a man!”

“Alex,” John warned. Between the hit and the rising voice of his own anger, Alex’s discretion was fading. “Remember, we need to exercise caution.”

“RIght.” He picked his dagger back up, tracing a line parallel to the one he made earlier in the night, watched the blood flow delicately as James hissed at the sting. “Here’s the thing. I know there’s more money. Perhaps you’re forgetting, but I know your finances more intimately than the average stranger. I know enough to feel quite certain that you have another stash of coins hidden away in a second location in case anyone were to find and seize this first bag. If you lie to me again, the consequence will be much worse than one small cut. Now tell me, where is the rest?”

A muffled sob escaped him as he squeezed his eyes shut. “I swear, that’s all there is. I owed some men, and they came looking for me. I had to make a payment, so I’m short what I would normally have on hand. Please, Alexander, believe me.” 

Alex’s expression hardened at the sound of his own name, the wave of anger and hurt inside of him almost strong enough to be tangible in the room. “Don’t scream or you die,” he said in a hushed, level voice. Let his face fall back down to muffle any noises of pain against the bedsheets and then pressed the dagger to his other arm. Rather than slicing the skin as he had done before, he pressed the blade straight downward, digging slowly into deeper layers of flesh. The groans of pain coming from James were tortured, causing him to writhe on the mattress, unable to remain still and consequently causing an even more intense burn throughout his body. Alex kept the dagger submerged in skin as he turned to John, the expression on his face somehow both numb and outraged at the same time. “Get me something to stop him from bleeding out too much.”

John rummaged through the wardrobe quickly. Pulled out a shirt and balled it up. He joined Alex next to the bed, getting a proper look at the dagger now, likely two inches deep in the skin. Alex made sure he was ready before removing the blade all at once, his father’s whimpers and groans of pain increasing now as John pressed the fabric to the wound, already staining red with fresh blood. For the amount of agony he must have been in, James actually was remaining spectacularly quiet. 

“I don’t need your help to find the rest of the money,” he spat. “But it will make the process much more convenient. So this is your last chance. Tell me where it is. If you don’t, I’ll make sure you don’t live to enjoy it.” 

James swallowed hard, tears freely flowing down his face as he spoke through the pain. “It’s buried behind the house. There’s a rock, by the fence. It’ll be under that. Maybe a foot under the surface.” He groaned again as a fresh wave of pain hit. Alex straightened up, taking a breath to steady himself. “Alexander, please,” James moaned from below, desperation laced into every word. “I’m sorry. You can’t even realize how sorry I am. Please just leave a small portion of the money. Take the rest, just leave enough for me to survive on. You have to understand, I had no choice.”

“You did have a choice,” Alex growled, disgust in every syllable. “You just chose to do what was easiest for you, once again.” James stared up at him, mouth open, but unable to speak. “Well, you’ve made your bed. Now lie in it. I’m not bailing you out. Not this time.” 

James began speaking again, but Alex had already turned away, taken a few steps towards the door. “Son, please-”

The words were enough to set his temper blazing. He spun around, the fire in his eyes enough to silence James before he even finished the sentence. Alex stood there for a minute, breathing heavily, staring down his father with an intensity that could burn the whole building to the ground. It seemed as if he were going to speak multiple times, words just on the tip of his tongue. In that moment, John truly believed he was capable of killing him. A perfect storm of rage, hurt, betrayal, disgust, contempt, and indignation fueling his actions. He could see it in his mind’s eye, Alex sinking the blade into his chest, the life fading out of his father’s eyes, blood staining his shirt and the bedding as his body fell limp. He’d killed men for less than this. John braced for it, steeling himself for the moment of truth, determined not to look away. But then, suddenly, Alex turned his back on his father. The heat emanating off of him, the anger in his face, the tension so tight John feared it would break him, all remained. But when he finally spoke, the only emotion his voice carried was bitterness. 

“John, shut him up, would you? We’ll have no further need of him tonight.”

It took John a few seconds to comprehend that he meant to silence him with the gag again, rather than with a more permanent method. He nodded, finding the still damp fabric that had been discarded on the nightstand earlier. 

“I’m going out to the back." His voice was flat now. As lifeless as John had imagined James Hamilton just moments ago. "Once I find what we came for, we’ll be leaving. Stay here until then, and hold up my earlier deal. If he tries to scream, he’s dead.” With that Alex was gone, the only remnant of his presence the soft sound of shoes on the floorboards as he made his way out of the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex is not okay :( 
> 
> Comments are, as always, extremely appreciated. I love all of you! 
> 
> Please leave kudos if you haven't yet!
> 
> Next update coming at you on Wednesday!
> 
> Come talk with me on Tumblr at @ilovefoodandgirls :) Message me or send me asks or whatever!
> 
> Once again, thanks for reading!!!


	13. Chapter 13

John heard Alex come back into the house, the sound of the door carefully closing, his shoes on the wood and the quiet hush of his voice as he spoke with Lafayette. John gave James Hamilton one last look. Tied the ruined shirt tightly to his arm, ensuring he wouldn’t lose too much blood before someone showed up and let him free. Made sure the gag was secure. Kept silent the whole time, despite all of the thoughts buzzing in his brain. All the words he wanted to say to this man. To tell him just how much of a vile human being he was. How Alex had already forgiven him more than any man, any _father_ , should be forgiven, and he repaid the favor with a selfish act of cowardice. He wanted so badly to tell him that he didn’t _deserve_ Alex. Didn’t deserve to call someone as brilliant and talented and unexpectedly kind as Alex his son. He wanted to say so many things. But it wasn’t his place. Alex had left without saying anything on the matter aloud. Didn’t express any of those feelings. Any of the long held conflict in his heart. And John wanted to follow the lead he set. To respect his choice on how to handle the matter. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t try to get the point across in the not so gentle way he handled the man as he made sure everything was secure though. When he finally got to the threshold between the bedroom and the hall, he gave one last withering look behind him before closing the door. 

Alex and Lafayette were waiting for him in the front room. Lafayette leaning back on the settee while Alex stood nearer the door, both bags of coins resting on the table in the middle of the room. The house itself now had a dim glow, in stark contrast to when they first arrived, dawn quickly reaching over the horizon, shifting the sky to paler hues. 

“Are we ready then?” Alex looked impatient, the itch of being there too much now that he had what he needed and the adrenaline of the night was wearing off. 

“Are you sure someone will find him soon? He could die if he’s tied up like that for days.”

Alex shrugged as if the idea of it didn’t terribly affect him, but added, “Yeah, someone will be around later today. I checked his calendar.” John briefly wondered _when_ he had time to check his calendar.

They all remained where they were, John still hovering towards the connecting hallway. The silence uncomfortable, unsettled. Unspoken words weighing heavily in the air. An almost palpable tension. Lafayette stood up as if to leave, glancing back at Alex as he did. “Mon chou, if you wanted to say anything to him, get some closure, we will wait a few more minutes.” His voice was soft, understanding. “We have time. This chance will likely not come again.”

Alex looked down at the floor, trying to hide the torn look that came over his face. He was quiet for a few seconds, perhaps trying to figure out what to say. Maybe trying to figure out if he should say anything at all. He crossed his arms over his chest before looking up, more of a protective gesture than one of defiance. “I don’t need any more closure. Our time here, seeing him, knowing that despite my best efforts his true nature won’t ever be changed. Knowing that in spite of everything, I got out and made something of myself while he remained, broken and pathetic.” His voice was rising now, the fire starting to flash in his eyes again. “I have all the closure I need. I have a life. I have both of you, and even though it’s not easy, we’ve found a way to make it work. That’s something _he_ could never do. I don’t want to reopen old wounds now. And I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how I feel. He can go to his grave wondering whether I truly despise him. I hope it eats away at him. I hope he never gets a moment’s peace. He doesn’t deserve it.”

The room was silent for a moment, the words sinking in gradually. Alex was a man of getting in the last word. Hardly ever missed an opportunity to voice his opinion and voice it loudly. Recklessly. It was hard to imagine him capable of this much restraint, let alone actively deciding it was the best course of action. Struck by the rarity of the situation, the other two seemed incapable of speech. Alex began to grow nervous as the silence stretched on longer, shifting his weight between his feet, insecurity gnawing at him as he replayed the vulnerability of the short speech in his head. “What? Do you think I’m wrong?” Looked between them both for reassurance. 

“No,” Lafayette said firmly. “Not at all. You have clearly put a lot of thought into this. I think we are both just surprised, right John?”

“Yeah. It’s the right call.” He nodded emphatically. And despite his own thoughts from shortly before, he really _did_ believe it. “I’m surprised you’re being this level-headed about it, but it’s definitely the right call.” 

“Hey!”

John laughed, glad for the break in the tension. Felt a little bit of normalcy flood back into the room. “No offense, of course.”

“We should be going,” Lafayette said, grabbing both bags from the table and making his way towards Alex and the door. “We still have the walk back, and the crew will be waiting.” He passed the smaller bag to Alex and pulled the door open, holding it for the other two. The weather outside was pleasantly mild, ocean breeze ruffling the trees as they made their way up the street, the sun still sitting just below the horizon and the bottom of the sky quickly changing over from blue to a pale yellow. They walked in silence, the need for discretion still sharp in their minds, but a sort of calm also settling over them. Birds chirped brightly from the foliage, just waking up for the day and eager to bring the rest of the world with them. 

The walk back to town was long enough that by the time they got there the sun had finally started to rise, painting the world with varying shades of purples, oranges, and reds, the rays extending up through the clouds and giving them a golden glow from beneath, reaching high until they faded away into the rest of the sky. The trio stopped in at a few stands along the main street, just opening up for the day. Picked up some food to carry them over until their next stop, arms full as they made their way onto the ship. McHenry greeted them as soon as they boarded, his face questioning until Lafayette held out the bag of coins, shook it a little so he could hear its contents. 

“I knew you had it in you! I’m glad you came back with good news. I was getting worried there’d be mutiny if you were empty-handed.” He attempted a light tone, but there was a sharper edge to it running underneath.

“And there’s more where that came from,” Alex added, grinning and lifting his own bag. 

“Damn. You guys made out well.” He took a few sacks of the food, joining them as they went to put it all away in the small kitchen below deck. Once they were below, storing each item in its designated place, McHenry finally asked, “So, how’d everything go?” They had gone over the details of their plan with the crew before leaving. Needed them to know what to expect if anything went wrong, to be ready when they came back. Which meant all night, each one of them waited with bated breath for their return, hoping the local authorities didn't’ board the ship first. 

“It all went to plan,” Alex said, more casual than the night deserved. “I told you we were perfectly capable of pulling it off. You put too little trust in us.”

“No need to get defensive, Hamilton,” he said teasingly. “We were worried about you, that’s all.”

“And for yourselves,” John pointed out, but he was smiling, glad to be back with good news for everyone. 

“Well, yes, that too.”

“Shall we go inform the rest of the crew?” Lafayette asked as he lifted the last bag of grains to a higher shelf. 

“I think everyone would be appreciative of that.”

“Yeah, and then we can finally get the hell out of here.” Alex led the rest of them out, setting to work gathering everyone.

When at last they were all standing in a tight knit circle above deck, Lafayette announced their minor victory, the bags of coins already tucked safely away. As they waited for a response, birds continued to chirp away happily in the distance. An unfamiliar sound that reminded them all they weren’t at sea yet.

Grayson was the one to break the silence. “You all still put us in danger of being apprehended.” There were a few muttered sounds of agreement from others in the group. 

Alex rolled his eyes at the response, not winning any favors. “We’re in danger of being apprehended nearly every time we do _anything_ , Grayson. You’re a pirate. This is kind of what you signed up for.”

“This is different, and you know it! You went behind our backs. None of us have a problem with illegal plans that we’re _all_ informed of. But you three decided you’re above all of that.”

“Hang on-” John started, anger and guilt flushing his cheeks. But Walker cut him off. 

“He’s right. We have rules. Procedures to follow. You can’t just throw them aside when they don’t suit you.”

“We discussed this last night,” Lafayette said wearily, the exhaustion from their adventure starting to catch up with him. He straightened up a little, shoulders back. “We have apologized for the misstep and explained our reasoning. And we have come back with the money needed to fix the damages caused by the storm. Is that not enough?”

“It sets a bad precedent,” Morris said, staring up into dark eyes. “We can’t have our captain making secret plans with those he favors and leaving the rest of us in the dark.”

“It was a personal matter as well,” Lafayette snapped. “I can assure you, the same situation will not arise again, so you need not fear the precedent.”

“It also serves as a broader reflection of your judgement,” Walker said, his face set in a conflicted frown. 

“Look, this is my fault,” Alex interjected, exasperated and raising his hands in a sort of surrender. “Punish me if you must, but don’t blame Lafayette for this.”

John ran a hand through his hair, irritated at the direction this was taking. They made it through the night without a scratch. Came back victorious with the money they needed. It should have been a day of celebration. And now this. 

“The sun is up,” Lafayette pointed out, glancing past all of them at the sky beyond the sea. “This conversation can wait. We can’t let our squabbling distract us from the fact that this mission is not entirely over until we get back on the water and away from this place. There is risk of retaliation until we are safely gone.”

Reluctantly, the others agreed. They set to work, preparing the ship to sail, tensions still running high. The work held an unusual silence. Normally their tasks were accompanied by jokes and conversation, laughter and teasing. This time, not a word. When at last everything was ready, they waited until wind caught in the sails, allowing the tide to help ease them back to sea. John turned and stared at the island as they left, watched it grow smaller and smaller as they departed. The weather was beautiful, sunshine beating down through puffy white clouds with a light breeze, but he felt it would be anything but smooth sailing once everyone had their say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's a little later than the others have been coming out. Had a really upsetting day at work regarding some shit my CEO said and spent most of the later part of the afternoon dealing with that on a personal level. 
> 
> But anyway, yay they made it off the island! Unfortunately they may have some... other problems now... 
> 
> Leave some comments. I'd love the distraction. 
> 
> Come chat with me on tumblr @ilovefoodandgirls 
> 
> Thanks for reading, love you all <3


	14. Chapter 14

They sat in a tight circle facing one another on the deck of the ship, the sun almost directly overhead at this point, beating down on them. John sat next to Lafayette, Alex on the other side of him. All three of them tense, the disagreements from earlier about to be amplified and highlighted in front of everyone. Calling together a meeting of the pirate council was not a common occurrence. It was really just a fancy term for ‘everyone’ seeing that the council excluded no man, but it carried a weight as well. When the council was called together it typically meant one of them had done something concerning enough that a discussion of punishment or consequences was in order. When this involved the captain, the stakes were significantly higher. The hierarchy on a pirate ship was never absolute, and if the men had reason to believe their interests weren’t being protected, they had every right to vote for a change in leadership. 

“Everyone’s here, right?” Walker did a quick headcount when no one gave a confident enough response, nodding to himself. “Excellent, let’s begin then. There has been discussion among some of the crew that Captain Lafayette is not using sound judgement. That he’s putting us at unnecessary risk, and not abiding by our articles ensuring that all men have a say in how the ship is run, especially when it pertains to activities that could end in disaster for the future of our crew and ship.”

“This is ridiculous!” Alex burst out, seemingly taking it as a personal attack and unable to keep his thoughts to himself any longer. “Without the money we all would have starved-”

“Hamilton, hold your tongue.” Walker sounded exasperated rather than angry. Used to Alex’s outbursts, expecting it probably, but still unable to let it slide.

Lafayette placed a hand on his thigh, gave him a stern look and said quietly enough that only those closest to them could hear, “You are not helping.”

Alex huffed out a sigh, but remained quiet, crossing his arms across his chest and staring resolutely at the ground in the middle of their circle, focusing on one particular imperfection in the grain of the wood. Angry as he was, and as much as he also wanted to argue against these stupid charges, John kept his mouth shut. Knew that it wouldn’t be a good look if both of them spoke out of turn. Kept his eyes forward, glancing around to gauge the mood of the others. 

“If we can continue,” Walker said with a bite to his voice. “This incident follows the mistakes that were recently made when in Charleston. As others have reminded me, all of the mistakes made there were under a part of the plan that Captain Lafayette was specifically in charge of and responsible for.” John felt his blood boil at the words. They were using his mistakes against Lafayette. And Alex’s. Blaming him again and again for things he didn’t do. If anything, each time he came in and _fixed_ their mistakes. He felt his fist involuntarily tighten in his lap, wanting desperately to fight any one of them. He was so distracted by his own reaction to the words themselves that he missed Walker’s tone, subtle but almost apologetic as he spoke. 

“These two lapses in judgement taking place so close to one another is obviously concerning for all of us.” He took a moment to look around at the men gathered, the reception of his words clearly varying from person to person. “Before I open the floor for others to speak, I want to take a moment to voice my own thoughts on the matter. What I’ve said so far are the facts. Some of the decisions made were not thought over well, and there was no regard for informing us all of the plans. These are of course missteps that we can all take issue with. However, there are times when even the best of us don’t have the chance to think things over as long as we would like. When we need to make a snap judgement, and sometimes we reflect on these judgements after the fact and wish we would have acted differently. Captain Lafayette has time and again proven that even when he may make a mistake, he is capable of pulling us out of bad situations and allowing us to continue forward, whether they are mistakes of his own making, or those of others. Without his leadership we may well have been captured trying to steal an entire two week supply of food from the town. Or starved at sea, unable to feed ourselves after the storm wrecked most of our supplies. And these merits deserve as much consideration as a few faults.” He fell into silence, everyone around them staring as they thought through his words. Even Alex had lifted his eyes at this point, a hint of appreciation breaking through his frustration. Lafayette’s expression, however, remained unreadable. A perfect mask of calm determination. “Now, if anyone else would like to speak on the matter, this is your chance.”

Alex already had his mouth open to say something, but Lafayette, with his hand still resting on his leg, dug his fingers in, a subtle, unspoken reminder to keep quiet. Trying to keep up the appearance of control and power in the face of the council, and knowing full well that his lover constantly jumping in on his behalf was not a great means to that end. Alex flinched at the sharp bite of his nails digging into the skin through his pants and closed his mouth again. John would have laughed at the interaction were the situation itself not so serious. Luckily for them, the rest of the group wasn’t paying any attention as Grayson had started to speak. 

“Of course we all know the captain has had good moments of leadership as well. No one is arguing against that. But these recent bouts of bad judgement are endangering all of us. We need someone in charge who will put the interests of the _entire crew_ over his own. Or over a select group.” None of them missed the implication there, and the atmosphere around the circle suddenly grew much more uncomfortable.

“He hasn’t put anyone’s interests above the entire crew’s,” McHenry spoke up, causing Lafayette to finally release the deep breath he was holding. “Just because he didn’t tell us all about his plans doesn’t mean they weren’t in our interests. We have money to fix the ship now. We have food. Those things are in the interests of all of us, and if you can’t see that, you’re a complete fool.” Alex caught his eye and gave an appreciative grin, hoping some of the others would share the same opinions. 

“If we say everything is fine because the outcome was good this time, what’s to stop him from keeping his intentions hidden from us in the future?” Grayson retorted, Morris nodding in agreement next to him. 

“You’ve known him for years,” Tilghman said from his other side. “No one’s asking you to blindly put faith in him, he has a strong basis for all of our trust.”

After a beat of silence, Walker gave one last glance around the circle. “Is there anything else before we take a vote?” He fixed his gaze on Lafayette specifically, waiting for him to speak on his own behalf, but he only shook his head. He had already done the math, and opinion seemed to be in his favor. No need to make himself seem less sure of that by defending his own reputation. 

“Alright then. All those in favor of taking further action?” Only two voices spoke up. “And those in favor of closing this discussion?” The remainder of them, Walker included, gave their assent. “Wonderful. Glad to have that settled.” He finally smiled at Lafayette, pleased at the result even if he hadn’t agreed with every step along the way of their latest mission. 

Lafayette cleared his throat, glancing at Grayson and Morris specifically as he spoke. “I did not want to speak over anyone before the vote, but I do want you to know that I hear your concerns, and I can promise I will do better to keep them in mind. The last thing I want is to lose your trust.” Neither responded, still looking put out at the outcome. 

McHenry stood up first, stretching as he did so. “Well, I’m starving, and I’m sure everyone else is too. Now that we have a supply of food again, I’m going to get started on something. I’ll let you all know when it’s ready.”

As he walked away from the circle, everyone else began to disperse, off to separate corners of the ship to prepare for their next stop, a much shorter trip than the last. Alex started to head away as well when Lafayette grabbed him by the shirtsleeve, stopping him with a jerk. “Where are you going?” 

He turned around, confusion on his face. “I have stuff to do. We all do. We have to plan out what we’ll need at the next port. Accurate numbers of essential supplies and costs of all of those things. We’ll need to know where we’re headed _after that_ so we can know how many supplies we realistically need to stock at a minimum. Figure out the best way to get the ship truly repaired while we’re stopped and how long that’ll take.” He would have gone on, but Lafayette cut in. 

“Alexander, it has been a long few days.”

“Time doesn’t stop just because things have been difficult.”

“You’ll have time for all of that,” John said softly, trying to shake off the nerves in his voice, still on edge from everything. “Plenty of time. You can rest for a few hours. You’ve earned that much.”

He looked between the two of them, wanting to argue further, but also realizing for the first time in days that his energy was drained to near empty. He gave a disapproving sigh before giving in. “Fine. But you both better pull your weight later.”

“We always do,” John said, rolling his eyes. “Maybe not up to _your_ standards, but that’s near impossible.” 

“Shall we go back to our quarters for now?” Lafayette asked, glancing at both of them. 

“Oh, so _that’s_ why you don’t want to do any work right now.” The corner of Alex’s lips were turned up in a smirk. 

“No,” he responded flatly, giving Alex a disapproving look. “I just want to be alone with the two of you. Again, it has been a long few days.” 

“Yeah,” John agreed, following as they made their way to the stairs. “Very long.” He thought back over everything. The storm, making a deal with James, learning of his betrayal, sneaking to his house in the dead of night and stealing all his money. The pirate council. Had it really only been four days? It seemed like a month at the very least.

He sat on the edge of the bed in their room, leaning his head back against the wall as his body no longer wanted to hold up its own weight. Alex sat next to him, rubbing one hand up and down his arm soothingly. John wasn’t sure if it was a conscious gesture or not, but it felt nice. Lafayette climbed up behind the two of them, leaning against the corner of the wall, and reclining a bit on the mattress. Finally, away from the prying eyes of the rest of the crew, he let his façade crack a tiny bit. “That was exhausting.”

“The council?” John asked, twisting his body to look at his face, noting the tired relief in his eyes. 

Lafayette nodded slowly in response, bringing a hand up to rub at his face. “I was very worried. I know I made a lot of mistakes....” 

“Hey,” Alex said, shifting his hand from John’s arm to rest on Lafayette’s leg instead. “I meant what I said earlier. Those were my mistakes not yours.”

Lafayette waved his hand at the notion, as if batting away flies. “It does not matter. Some things were my fault as well. We all have the ability, and the responsibility, to make our own decisions. You know this.” 

Alex didn’t say anything in response. Just squeezed his leg gently, light pressure, a silent reassurance. 

“It wasn’t fair of them to bring up Charleston,” John added, shaking his head slowly. “That was entirely my dumb decision.” 

“We all need to be more careful,” Lafayette sighed, his eyes drifting shut. “Our relationship with the crew is paramount. That trust, that bond, it is everything. No matter what happens, we cannot let our own feelings get in the way of that.”

With Lafayette’s words, not accusatory or threatening, but simply stating truths, John finally felt the weight of the council from earlier. Finally understood it wasn’t about petty disagreements, but something larger, something vital. He nudged Alex to reposition himself so they could all lie down instead. Let Alex get into the middle spot, his head resting against Lafayette’s chest, and then turned onto his side, resting his own face in the crook of Alex’s neck. The three of them remained silent after that, enough words spoken for the day, and the exhaustion of their trip finally pulled them down into long overdue sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *chanting* pirate council! Pirate Council! PIRATE COUNCIL!
> 
> As always, I love your comments <3 We got ONE MORE CHAPTER after this, so let me know your thoughts!!!!!!!!
> 
> Come chat with me on tumblr @ilovefoodandgirls
> 
> Thanks for reading, you da best
> 
> Last chapter is coming out Sunday! (and it's a BEAST of a chapter at 6500ish words)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

When John finally woke, blinking his eyes open after much needed rest, night had fallen outside. The only thing keeping the room from complete darkness, a lantern sitting on the desk, illuminating the side of Alex’s face as he leaned over the parchment in front of him, scribbling away, intense concentration and the flame of the light reflected in his eyes. He was so focused that he didn’t hear John untangle himself from Lafayette and the bedsheets and softly make his way over. Only noticed him when he was in his peripheral vision, hovering by his side. 

He continued, finishing the line he was writing, then replaced the quill in its inkwell, turning to look up at John. “Our sleep schedules are completely fucked, you know that right?” 

John grinned, willing to sacrifice that small slice of routine if it meant everything else went back to normal. “We’ll adjust back.” He put a hand down on the desk, leaning his weight on it.

“No, you’ll stay awake until a proper hour for sleep tomorrow regardless of your discomfort. I told you before, there’s too much to do.”

“When did you wake up?”

“Maybe an hour or two ago.”

“You were tired too,” he pointed out, quirking an eyebrow. 

“I hadn’t slept in two days.”

“At all?” John was taken aback, trying to recount everything in his head. How had he not realized?

He shook his head.

“Shit. At the rate you’re going Alex, you’re going to drop dead from exhaustion one day.”

Alex shrugged, the action a little too indifferent. “It’s not like I planned for it to happen. I couldn’t sleep the night before last. Not in that house. And then last night… well it’s not like I knew we’d be working through it.”

“You two are too loud,” Lafayette grumbled from the bed, apparently awake now as he rolled over onto his side. 

“You slept for like half the day.” Alex intentionally raised his voice a level to make a point. “I don’t feel bad for waking you.” 

He scooched into a half seated position, rubbing at his eyes. “You are not very nice,” he said, sleep still weighing down his voice. 

“Eloquent.” Alex smirked, and John tried his best to stifle his laugh. 

“Not everyone copes with stress by working themselves into a grave, Alexander,” he argued, as he began to shake off the remnants of sleep. “Some of us like to relax.” 

“What are you even working on at this hour?” John glanced down at the parchment, but Alex pushed it to the side. Not before John made out a few words, able to see by the formatting and some snippets that it was a letter. The recipient surprising him. Sending a pang of sympathy and confusion in his heart. Had his whole speech about closure last night been a lie? John longed to know the entire contents of the letter. To know how he was _really_ feeling about everything that had happened. 

“Nothing important,” Alex said hurriedly. John made accidental eye contact, unsure how much his expression was giving away. If Alex could tell he knew more about that letter’s contents than he was meant to. “If you don’t want me to work so hard,” he said, his tone shifting to something more playful, covering up whatever emotions were just under the surface. “Why don’t you distract me instead of complaining about it?” 

For as transparent the attempt at switching their focus was, John couldn’t help but think Alex really did need to be distracted. As much as he would never admit to it willingly, his encounter with his father was clearly affecting him more than he let on. Consuming his thoughts until he occupied himself with something else. He didn’t mind offering that distraction if it meant Alex could be at peace for a little while. 

Lafayette, oblivious to John’s own string of consciousness, smiled mischievously, tilted his head to the side. “I am happy to distract you. Come here.” The unwavering stare he gave was both sensual and dangerous, undercurrent of dominance running through his voice. 

“You come over here,” Alex said, clearly playing up the defiance in his tone for effect. “We’re both already on this side of the room. Makes more sense.”

“Alexander.” His tone shifted to more of a warning. “I still have not forgotten how you acted at the council. Speaking out of turn which we have _specifically_ talked about before now. Do not test my patience. You will find it is wearing thin.”

John couldn’t help the breath of laughter at the look on Alex’s face, both slightly alarmed at being called out and unsurprisingly turned on. 

“I would not laugh if I were you, mon chéri. I have a vivid memory of you worrying the both of us the other night when you went off by yourself against our advice. You are not in a much better position than Alexander.” 

“Hey!” John was taken aback by that, and he felt his cheeks getting pink with embarrassment. “I kept quiet during the council because I knew that’s what you wanted, even though I wanted to give them a piece of my mind.”

“Stop arguing and come here. Both of you.” John watched as Alex stood from his chair, rolling his eyes but making his way towards the bed, and followed after him. The two of them hovering next to where Lafayette was still reclining. 

“What do you want?” Alex asked, his voice petulant. 

“I want you both to behave,” Lafayette sighed, overly dramatic. “But that is too much to ask apparently.” He paused a moment, considering the two of them. “Alexander, on your knees.”

“Where-”

“On the floor right there,” Lafayette responded, cutting off his question before he could finish it. “John is right. You _have_ been worse than him recently. I think you should wait there while we have some fun together first.”

Alex gave a quiet, undignified whine, but lowered himself onto his knees, shifting as he tried to find the most comfortable position. 

“And I do not want you to distract us. I know you cannot control your mouth. John, my love?” John was almost embarrassed by how quickly he felt a rush of arousal at being addressed like that while Alex was being talked down to. “I think it would be wise to gag Alexander, so that he will not distract you. After all, I need you to stay attentive while making up for your poor behavior.” There was no question there, not even a direct command, but John knew better than to wait for one. 

On a different day, Alex would probably have fought back a little. Wouldn’t let John grab the fabric from a drawer in their wardrobe and slip it into his mouth, tie it around at the back of his head. Most times when they played at punishment like this, he preferred to resist. To make things more difficult. But tonight he was content to let it happen, craving the welcome shift in thoughts from anything to do with his father. 

“Do you want me to tie his arms too?” He figured Alex wasn’t in the mood to undo the gag tonight, but it would complete the illusion of helplessness. 

Lafayette’s grin grew even wider from where he watched on the bed, his expression hungry. “That is an excellent idea. I am so glad one of my boys is well behaved at least.” John blushed at the praise. “Take off his shirt first, though. It will be much harder to undress him later otherwise.” 

Alex glared up at him, said something scathing that was muffled into incoherency by the gag. John grabbed the rope from the same drawer, coming back to Alex and giving a kiss on the side of the head before pulling his shirt up over his head, throwing the clothing off to the side of the room. “Sorry, honey,” he said, not managing to make his voice sound at all apologetic. Tugged his arms in front of him and tied them tightly together. “Is that okay?” Watched as he tested the strength of the knot, a pleased groan audible behind the gag as he found it unrelenting. 

“Very good,” Lafayette said, appraising his work. “Now come up here.” He patted the bed next to him, and John obliged, resting on his knees as he felt the anticipation sing through his veins. 

“Are you ready to make things up to me, my dear?” 

Lafayette already had a hand on his thigh, rubbing inside his leg, dangerously close to his cock, and he felt the arousal stirring low in his groin. Let out a low whimper and nodded his head before composing himself enough to answer properly. “Yes.” It came out as more of a groan than anything.

“Yes, sir,” he corrected, giving a sharp squeeze. 

John let out a little yelp at the sudden shift in touch, and he heard Alex’s muffled laughter from the floor. “Yes, sir,” he amended, leaning into the touch as it turned gentle again. 

“You are so good for me, love. Much better than Alexander. Maybe we should leave him there, and I will just take you over and over again?” 

John let his head fall back, biting his lip to stop himself from moaning at the thought while Alex let out an indignant noise of dissent. 

“You are not making a good argument for yourself, Alexander,” Lafayette pointed out, giving him a stern look. “I thought you were aware that the point of the gag was to keep you quiet.” He broke eye contact at that, but remained silent for the time being. “Better.”

He turned his attention back to John. “Now, what are we going to do about you?” He raked his eyes over his body, taking the moment to appreciate the cut of his jaw, the way his shirt draped over broad shoulders, how the dim glow from the lantern reflected against him. Considered his next moves. John could feel himself growing flustered under the attention, unsure what to do as the heat rose in his face. “I think you should take off your shirt as well.” He hummed appreciatively as John did so, baring tanned, freckled skin and toned muscles. Lafayette leaned forward, turning his head so he was forced to make eye contact before crashing their lips together, the kiss rough and deep. Enough to distract John from his own self consciousness as Lafayette ran hands along bared skin, from his shoulders down his back, fingers brushing at his hips, just above the waist of his pants. He shifted, trying to get comfortable, feeling himself growing hard under the attention. Lafayette gave him a playful smile as he brushed fingers over his lap, watching him squirm. “You are so beautiful, my love. I could stare at you like this, all worked up and flushed, forever.” He punctuated the praise with a bite to the space between his shoulder and neck, and John answered with a stifled moan. 

“No need to be so quiet, mon chér.” 

John, seemingly the only one ever aware of their thin walls, reacted the same way he always did. “I’m not letting the whole damn ship hear me. I’m not as shameless as Alex.” From the floor, Alex definitely tried to respond to that, but Lafayette ignored him this time. 

“Fine, fine. I will just have to do my best to make you scream my name despite your reservations then. But first, you owe me an apology, and I have decided to accept it in the form of favors rather than words.” John raised an eyebrow in question, sure that Lafayette would elaborate unprompted. In lieu of an actual explanation, he undid the ties on his pants, then pulled off his shirt, leaving behind an enticing sight as he leaned back against the pillows again. “I think,” he said slowly, eyeing John with that desire he knew so well. “If you would rather not apologize to me verbally, there are other ways your mouth can get the point across. How does that sound?”

John took him in, all hard lines, chiseled chest, abs. Could feel himself salivating and didn’t care. Felt his own dick twitch at the thought of Lafayette in his mouth, forcing him down. “Good,” he managed through the haze of his own thoughts. “Good, sir.” He caught the slip a little late, but Lafayette didn’t seem to mind. “Fuck, I just want to taste you.” 

Lafayette beamed at the admission. Put one hand out to slow John as he leaned down, reaching to pull his cock out. “Alexander?” he prompted, twisting a little to look over the side of the bed. “Watch. I decided against a blindfold for a reason after all.” Alex tipped his hips forward and gave a barely perceptible whine, clearly growing frustrated with the lack of contact as he watched the other two. “Be patient.” And then Lafayette’s attention was back on John, drawing back his hand to allow access. 

John was hyper aware of his every move, knowing full well he had both of their undivided attention. He traced his tongue up the underside of Lafayette’s dick, encouraged by the low groan he received, then licked his lips when he got to the tip, let himself slide slowly onto him, taking just his head into his mouth. He waited there for a minute, expecting Lafayette to take control. To grab his hair and push him down. To lift hips up to shove his length farther into John’s throat. But instead, when he looked up through his lashes, he was only met with expectant eyes. 

“Go on,” he said, as if reading his thoughts. “You are doing the work tonight, chéri. This is an apology, I cannot do it for you.” John wasn’t used to taking control. Not here, with Lafayette and Alex. He started off hesitant, taking a little more of his dick into his mouth, used his tongue to apply pressure as he pulled off slightly and slid back down. He was encouraged by the soft, pleased noises from above him and doubled down on his efforts, rewarded with a gentle hand in his hair. Not guiding him, just providing a grounding presence as fingers scratched as his scalp. 

“You are so beautiful, my love. Just like this, all flushed, your lips wrapped around my cock. If only we had no responsibilities. I could have you like this all the time. Use you for my pleasure all day long.” John went a little too deep, gagging around him and pulling off a little to breathe. Felt Lafayette’s fingers instinctively tighten in his hair as his throat worked around him, then gentle again as he got a hold of his reaction. The natural, easy dominance in that simple gesture sent a fresh rush of lust through John, and he rutted forward, his own dick still trapped beneath fabric, rubbing against Lafayette’s leg where he straddled him. 

Lafayette smiled down at him, gave a breathy laugh at his unconcealed want. “Do you need some attention, love?” Not sure what response he was looking for, John just made a little needy noise around his cock, licking at the underside again before sliding down and back up. “You are being very good for me. And truth be told, as nice as your mouth feels, I want to do more to you than this.” When John paused, blinking up at him with his mouth just barely still on his tip, Lafayette’s hand tightened again in his hair, this time dragging him off of his cock, all the way up so they were at the same level. Then Lafayette was kissing him, hard and desperate as he kept one hand pressed to the back of his head, forcing him to stay close. John melted into it, eager and pliant, perfectly willing to let Lafayette take the reigns.

When he pulled back, John stared up at him, still a bit dazed from the kiss. “How do you want to…?” 

“I want to bend you over the bed,” he mused, far too casual. John wondered how he managed to keep his voice so steady, the words themselves already making him feel weak. “But I want to make sure Alexander has a good view as well. So he can watch.” John glanced back down at Alex, looking increasingly more frustrated as they drew things out. He couldn’t keep still now, shallowly tipping his hips forward, clearly irritated by the lack of pressure that was actually affording him where he wanted it most. 

“Stand up.” John did so belatedly, not realizing for a moment he was even addressing him. Got to his feet, feeling shaky with the anticipation and the tightly wound energy coursing through him. “Good,” Lafayette continued, following him off the bed. “Now, brace yourself over the very end of the bed there.” He watched while John did so, eyes dark with lust as he took him in, the muscles in his shoulders and back tensing as he held himself just off the mattress. 

“Is this good?” John asked, embarrassed at the way his voice came out slightly higher than usual. 

“Alexander?” Lafayette asked, turning to him rather than answering John’s question. “Is that a good angle? Will you be able to see everything properly?”

Without missing a beat Alex nodded. Eager, wanting them to get on with things so that he could have his turn.

John blushed at the thought of being watched so intently, feeling the heat in his face and fighting the urge to turn away as Lafayette moved behind him, running a hand down his back and watching him tense at the contact. Reached around to untie his pants, pulling them off, finally, and urging John to step out of them so he could move unrestricted. He pressed his face down against the mattress as Lafayette fumbled with something behind him. He was about to twist around to try and see what he was doing when he felt a finger, slick with oil, pressing at his entrance while he spread his cheeks with the other hand. 

He felt his face grow even warmer as he pressed inside, moaning Lafayette’s name against the sheets. Could hear Alex from the floor, making a noise in interest, only a little desperate sounding. After just a minute of this, he slowly pushed in a second finger, stretching him carefully. Slower than John would have liked, but he wasn’t in the mood to complain. Just pushed back a little, chasing the contact, groaning as he scissored his fingers inside of him. “Fuck, Lafayette.” It was halfway between a moan and whine, and he felt himself turn red at the way the words came out, burying his face deeper, then turning back to make sure he could hear him. “Please. I want you.”

Lafayette normally had more patience. Enjoyed stringing them along for a while, teasing and withholding until they were truly desperate. But it seemed the last few days had affected him as well, making him desperate for that intimacy of being inside him. He drew his fingers out without another word. Reached back for the oil and slicked his own cock, pressing back against John sooner than he expected and eliciting a surprised moan of undisguised want as he rested his head just against him, not quite pushing in yet. “Alexander?” Lafayette’s voice was sharp behind him. “Are you watching?” John couldn’t see him nodding, but could hear the muffled noises of assent. Felt as Lafayette, satisfied with that answer, slowly pushed in, almost careful in the way he moved, brushing fingers up his leg and gripping into his skin once he reached his hip. John moaned into the stretch, unable to keep quiet with the overwhelming presence inside of him. Lafayette paused to give him a moment of relief, relishing how tight John was, muscles clenching around him. Wanting nothing more than to plunge all the way in. Didn’t start moving again until John was whimpering into the sheets, shifting his hips back, not really forcing any movement, but clearly trying to encourage it. 

With that reassurance, Lafayette gripped his hips tighter, with both hands now, and pushed the rest of the way in. A little faster now, but still careful, letting out a satisfied groan once he was all the way in, the heat and the way John’s ass felt around his dick spurring him on. 

“Fuck,” John breathed out with a short whimper. “That feels good. So damn good.” His voice was unsteady, but he was past the point of caring now. With Lafayette’s cock fully inside of him, all he wanted was more, movement, friction, something. Anything. His dignity be damned. 

Luckily, Lafayette didn’t need more encouraging than that. Encouraged by his words, he drew his hips back, and the next thrust was much quicker, rougher. The sting of it sending another pulse of arousal through John, building in his chest and his groin as he kept going, setting a fast pace. He felt Lafayette grip harder at his hips, readjust the angle slightly until he hit that perfect spot. Knew he found it by the way John moaned and clenched around him, breathing out his name and praises and pleas not to stop. 

“Touch me,” he begged between short, panting breaths. “Please, touch me. I’m close. So close.” Felt simultaneous relief and increasing pressure inside of him as a hand wrapped around, squeezing between his hips and the bed to pump his own shaft in time with the thrusts that were rocking the two of them. John was vaguely aware that the bed was thumping against the wall, and he knew he should be embarrassed by how obviously that would be interpreted by anyone passing by, but the feeling of total bliss was building inside of him, quickly reaching the tipping point as he was torn between finishing and holding on for as long as he could, and the noise coming from their quarters was suddenly the least important thing in the world as Lafayette hit his prostate, twisting his wrist just right, and he felt himself spilling onto the sheets, his whole body bright, burning pleasure. 

As he started to drift back from that fuzzy post-orgasm headspace, his senses reappeared to him little by little. He felt Lafayette pull out, still unspent, and massage his ass appreciatively for a moment as he laid there, starting to grow uncomfortable from the awkward position, but too relaxed to move. He was suddenly aware of Alex, still on his knees by the side of the bed, making muffled noises into the gag. By the tone, it sounded like he was trying to beg Lafayette to shift his attention now that he was finished with John. 

“Patience, Alexander,” he chided. Ran his fingers through John’s hair, taking his time mostly to tease Alex further. The unintelligible sounds from him were growing sharper now, sounding more like arguing than begging, but Lafayette ignored him as he turned John’s face towards him, pulling him into a deep, unhurried kiss. When he finally pulled back, he nudged John’s shoulder, encouraging him to stand up. “You will be sore if you stay like that, my love.” Pushed him gently in the general direction of the bed, and John climbed back on the mattress, resting back against the pillows where he had a good vantage of Alex and Lafayette. 

He watched, brain still fuzzy with contentment, as Lafayette crouched down in front of Alex to untie the gag. The moment that followed was like a damn breaking, all of the words he hadn’t been able to say since earlier in the night finally spilling from his lips. “Fuck you. You’re a goddamn tease, you know that? And a fucking sadist to boot. Also, I knew you weren’t _actually_ going to leave me here all night. You’re a terrible liar. You wouldn’t be able to resist, especially when you already have me shirtless and tied up.” He smirked a little at that, his expression flashing from indignant to playful and back in a heartbeat. “And, John, you are _just_ as shameless as I am, letting Laf pound you into the bed waking up half the crew most likely. Fucking hypocrite. And another thing,” he added turning back to Lafayette. “You seriously couldn’t have at least given me a damn pillow or something? This isn’t comfortable, in case you didn’t realize.” He paused to take a deep breath, shifting on the floor a little. 

Lafayette raised an eyebrow, dark eyes sharp as he stared down at him with carefully crafted displeasure. “I am considering putting the gag back on, Alexander.”

“You wouldn’t fucking dare.”

Lafayette chewed the inside of his cheek, and Alex was unsure if he was considering, or trying to stop himself from laughing. “It is not supposed to be comfortable. It is a punishment, remember?”

“Yeah, sure, just like John’s was a punishment? Because you definitely weren’t this mean to him.” 

Lafayette could tell he was baiting him. “If you keep saying things like this, I truly will gag you again. Do not test my patience, Alexander, you are already wearing it thin.” He paused, waiting for the retort and pleased to find Alex was actually holding back. “Or maybe I should just fuck into your mouth? Leave you on your knees and take you right here? That would certainly stop you from talking back like this.”

Alex breathed a short, frustrated sigh. “Goddammit, fine. I’ll behave, just let me get off of my knees.”

“I think you can ask more nicely than that.”

Alex rolled his eyes, frustrated and embarrassed at Lafayette’s demands. “Please,” he emphasized. “Will you please let me get up on the bed?” 

“Why should I?”

Alex felt his face flush, not expecting followup. “I’m sore, Lafayette. Please. I’ll be good. I’ll stop talking back. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want?” He grinned, watching Alex stumble over his words.

He bit his lower lip, taking a shaky breath. “Sure, fine. Anything. Just, please, hurry up.” His tone had shifted, no longer demanding or complaining, but rather pleading. 

Lafayette brought his hands down, carelessly brushing bare skin as he did so, and tugged at the knots until Alex was able to shrug out of the rest of the ropes, rolling his shoulders and stretching his arms out. “You may get up, Alexander,” Lafayette said, watching him closely as he used his hands to help him slowly push himself up, the pain in his shins and knees clearly sharp as he winced at the small movements. Once he was finally fully upright, he deferred to Lafayette, unsure what he was planning on next. “Strip. Then on the bed, mon chou.” The act of removing his pants was complicated by the fact that he had to bend over, the stiffness in his joints screaming at him to stop as he finally kicked out of his clothing, and Lafayette watched closely, hungry expression following every struggling movement. He climbed up, settling into a spot near the center of the mattress, and John could practically feel the heat vibrating off of him, the expectant energy nearly burning. Lafayette had grabbed the oil from the other end of the bed. Brought it over with him as he leaned back against the pillows a little to the side of where John sat. 

“I thought you were going to fuck me?” Alex said, the words coming out as a question. 

“You said whatever I want. I want you to ride my cock.” The smile he flashed was devilish, and Alex’s face grew red with the request. The thought of pressure on his already sore knees and shins as he worked his body up and down over Lafayette. 

“Goddammit, Laf,” he growled. “You’re doing this on purpose. I told you, you’re a fucking sadist. Stop being an ass.” 

“You are fine.” He paused a beat, waiting for him to signal if this was, in fact, not fine. But Alex just glared back up at him. Always up for a little pain if it meant getting off at the end of it. “This is a punishment. I do not know how many times I will have to say this until it gets through to you. Maybe a little discomfort will make you think twice at the next council meeting before you speak out of turn. Here.” He pushed the oil in his general direction. “Stretch yourself. Unless you would rather have more discomfort.” 

Alex uncapped the bottle, grumbling a little as he slicked his own fingers, leaned forward a little to get a better angle before Lafayette stopped him. “Turn around,” he said, the command low and smooth. “I want to watch.”

Alex gave an exasperated sigh, slightly betrayed by how shaky the breath came out, as he rearranged himself. Leaning forward with his weight pressed into one forearm as he reached back with the other hand, pressing in with first one finger, and quickly working himself up to two. Felt his face heat again as Lafayette made appreciative noises at the performance, idly touching himself. He pulled out, too soon to really be stretched well, but too impatient to keep going. Plus, he liked the feeling of being stretched on Lafayette’s cock, and being a little underprepared just amplified the sensation. 

He turned around, stradling Lafayette’s lap with a visible wince as the discomfort in his legs grew stronger again, the effort of holding himself up like that more difficult than he had imagined. He bit his lip to stifle the groan of pain. Catching the way Lafayette was watching him like a hawk, he felt himself grow harder, the arousal spurred on by the knowledge that he was enjoying teasing Alex like this, fueling his own desire. “You look uncomfortable,” he pointed out, voice light but the undercurrent of a taunt showing through. “Do you need to stop?” 

“No,” he snapped, angling his hips down to rub his own dick against hard, muscled thigh. 

Lafayette pushed him back up, denying more friction. “Watch your tone, or I will make good on my threat, and you will not be finishing at all tonight. Now if this is not too difficult for you, please prove it to me and begin.” He gave Alex a smug look, knowing he wouldn’t doubt his promise to go through with his threat, and that the only good course of action was for him to behave. To do exactly what Lafayette asked him to. 

Alex responded with action rather than words, gripping Lafayette’s cock with one oil-slicked hand and giving him a few strokes before lining himself up. Spreading his legs a little farther apart, the muscles in his thighs already feeling the strain of the position, as he lowered himself, pleased that at least he was setting his own pace, a tiny sliver of control he still had in the situation. He knew Lafayette must have realized this, but thankfully he didn’t change tactics or otherwise try and control how quickly he was moving. He was unsure if the decision was out of generosity or merely practicality, but he was grateful regardless, working himself down along his length in increments until his ass was flush with Lafayette’s lap, letting out an indulgent groan and shifting his hips back and forth a little to really feel the dick inside of him, relishing the way he pressed up against the inside of him, muscles tight as they tried their best to accommodate the intrusion. 

He lifted up again, the action sending a stinging rush of pain to his lower legs, but it only urged him on more. The pain acting like an aphrodisiac as his own desire heightened by degrees, his cock still irritatingly untouched. He chased the pleasure, working himself a little faster with each rise and fall, leaning forward a bit despite the protest in his knees as he felt Lafayette’s dick hit him just right, moaning each time he hit his prostate, feeling the pressure building with each thrust as the heat inside of him grew more blinding. His movements turned less consistent as he picked up speed, feeling himself near completion, desperate, incoherent, half-phrases spilling from his lips, unsure if they were praise or curses, just knowing that he couldn’t shut up if he wanted to and that his voice was growing louder as he felt the wave of ecstasy finally wash over him, spilling all over Lafayette’s chest and abs as he tightened around the cock inside of him, the intensity of it after waiting so long, watching him and John, making him feel light headed. 

As his own orgasm began to fade, he was acutely aware of Lafayette, still hard, and he whimpered softly at the feel of him. With the exhaustion starting to hit, the adrenaline fading a bit, he couldn’t keep up the same pace as before, leaning forward onto his chest and working himself back with more effort. Lafayette, frustrated by the slower movements, grabbed his hips to hold him still and began thrusting up into him instead, the rough snapping movements nearly too much in his post orgasm state. “Fuck, Laf,” he groaned. “Fuck.” He wanted to say more than that, encourage him to use him hard and fast and just _finish already_ , but he couldn’t find the words through the fog in his brain and the distraction of getting his ass pounded while the overstimulation started to set in. Contented himself with pleading moans and wordless whimpers instead, and Lafayette reacted to them beautifully, his fingers pressing deeper into the skin as his movements turned more insistent, and Alex felt sure in that moment that the imprints would leave bruises. His hips stuttered, and he dug in deep, forcing Alex down a little further so he could feel the tight, warm feeling of his ass completely encasing him as he came, groaning his name and holding him there until he was completely spent. Once finished, he let go of his hips, allowing him to fall forward on top of him, listening to the short, exhausted panting breaths and smiling into his shoulder.

John slid down on the bed, scooching in next to the two of them and resting his face against Lafayette’s shoulder, carefully avoiding the mess and brushing his lips lightly against his skin, tasting salt as he nuzzled in closer and sighed happily. After a few minutes of lying there, content and thoroughly satisfied, Alex pulled himself up from Lafayette’s chest, carefully climbing off the side of the bed and glancing back over at him. “You need to clean up,” he pointed out, walking a little more tenderly than usual past the desk to the corner where they kept the basin and a pitcher of water. “You both do actually. John, I know you didn’t get much on you, but you smell like sex, and I know how upset you’ll get with us if you don’t realize until after you grace the entire crew with your presence.”

“I was going to regardless, Alex,” John said sleepily, not sure if what he said was true or not. All he wanted was to stay put exactly where he was, letting the gentle rocking motion of the ocean sway him back to sleep. 

“Mhmm,” he hummed, not convinced. Tossed a damp cloth somewhere in the general direction of the two of them, causing John to start as it hit him on the arm. 

“I hate you.”

Lafayette grabbed the cloth from where it had fallen between them, wiping off Alex’s mess from his bare torso. Sat up to get a better angle once he was sure he had cleaned off enough that none would spill onto the bed. As he got up to rinse off with more water, he tugged at John’s hand, pulling him up against his resistance. “Alexander is right, you do need to clean up, mon chéri.” 

“I said I was going to,” he complained, but followed him over to the other corner of the room, already dragged away from the comfort of the bed anyway. “What’s the rush?” 

“No, no, no,” Alex started, drying himself off with a clean towel and moving over to make more room. “I told you before this all started that you were staying up and getting shit done. You’re not going back to sleep, you literally slept half the day.”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to stay up,” he pointed out defensively, though he had fully intended to go back to sleep. But it was easier to trip Alex up on the technicality than admit to that. 

“You are so bossy, Alexander,” Lafayette teased, running his fingers through tangled hair, trying to work out a knot. 

Alex jerked his head out of the way, untangling it himself with a little more force than Lafayette had been willing to use. “Yeah, well, you want this next stop to go well too. Someone has to make sure everything gets done so no one has anymore reason to question your leadership.” His tone was a little more serious now, and the air between the three of them shifted for the first time since Alex had brought up the idea of sex to distract them all from heavier topics.

Dropping the washcloth back into the water, John held out his hand for the towel Alex had been using, drying himself off as well and leaning over to press a quick kiss to the side of his face. He watched the corner of his mouth quirk up, and he looked back over with a softer expression on his face. 

“What was that for?”

“Nothing,” John said, not entirely truthful as he smiled back at him. He felt a pull in his chest, the need to reassure Alex, remembering the letter he had been writing out earlier in the night and the way he had tried to hide it. Knew he couldn’t get into things directly without addressing the fact that he had seen some of what he wrote, enough to get the gist of it, and that being called out on it would probably just make him withdraw further. But he needed so badly for him to know that they were here, whenever he did want to talk about it. If he ever wanted to talk about it. Couldn’t stand the thought of him feeling too ashamed to open up about his own struggles. “Just... I love you.” He felt his heart swell at the way his smile spread across his face more fully, reaching his eyes as they crinkled a little at the corners. 

Lafayette handed clothing back to them, already getting dressed himself in the flickering lantern light from the desk. Once they were all decent, he grabbed Alex’s hand and kissed it before pulling him towards the door. “Thank you by the way.” 

“For what?” 

“For being a good sport and playing along so well.”

“Oh.” He paused, grinning to himself. “You know you don't need to thank me for that.”

“Yes, but even so.” He shrugged happily, playing with his fingers. “Thank you.” He paused longer this time, not opening the door quite yet. “I hope that helped a little.”

Alex bit his lip, and John could tell he knew exactly what he meant without any elaboration by the look on his face. “Yeah.” Pause while he glanced down at the floor. “Yeah it did. Thanks.” He didn’t quite make eye contact with either of them as he pulled the door open himself, the breeze from the open stairway hitting them all at once, but his smile stayed put as they made their way into the fresh ocean air. When he finally glanced back at John, soft smile on his lips and gratitude still warm in his eyes, he knew that despite everything they had been through, despite the ups and the downs, the hardships, the conflict, everything, they could work through it. That with the three of them together, they could get through anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter! Thanks for sticking around <3 
> 
> For those wondering, I am planning on writing a part four, but I haven't started yet. So no promises on how long that will take. 
> 
> If you want more content from this verse before then, send me some prompts on tumblr (@ilovefoodandgirls). Always always always open to prompts! 
> 
> Leave some comments, and stay tuned for more. Love you all! Thanks for reading and being so kind!


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